The best submissives I have discovered and spent time with were found in non-lifestyle settings and were simply behaving like submissives and not claiming to be. It occurs to me that I have brought more submissives into the life than I have found in it. As a man who is consiberably more naturally dominant than conforming lifestyle dominant, I need to remember that my true satisfaction is to be found in expressing my nature as a leader, a teacher, a lover, an elder...and a warrior...in my family, my community, and my business associations. My identity as a testosterone-driven alpha male arises from within, and is not an artificial and external role.
The "social aspect" or "community element" of the lifestyle, the parties, the munches and sloshes, all of that... is for men who need some setting or context in which to "act out" being a dominant male, with willing participants who will cooperate with the act, play the corresponding role, and artificially validate or confirm the man's charade in an organized roleplay or ritualized interaction.
A naturally and genuinely submissive female, with NO knowledge or experience of 'the lifestyle', instinctively recognizes me for what I am. She reacts to the scent of testosterone and pheremones, the control in my voice, the measured body language, the look in my eye. Her perception of me is untainted by the stereotypes or expectations of a dominant male that are imposed by a culture which provides a "norm" or "standard" for such a man to conform to. She is pliant and demure with me by nature, she defers to me because it feels right to do so, and my positive response to it is attention she craves on an instinctive level...genetically. The female wants to mate with the male who will give her the strongest offspring. Natural selection at the sexual level.
I am what the lifestyle gives beta males the context and dynamics to SIMULATE.
I will not engage in any interaction which leads me to be treated identically to those beta males who are trying to pass themselves off as what I am, and I won't be grouped with them or classified as one of them.
If you will read back through this a couple more times and meditate upon it before you form an opinion or respond, I believe you will wholeheartedly appreciate the real meaning of what I am saying.
Having said this, I think you might be one of a handful of people in the lifestyle who can actually understand and appreciate it.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The Natural Dominant Male
If I knew words better I'd preface this statement I'm about to show you with grand statements of my own. Really tho, all I can say to you few who do read this is that the truth of this statement should change your life as it is relevant to the lifestyle. I'd like to think....well, I wish I were so pure:
'nuff said, I think.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Anticipatory service: what to do
It is a misleading title. I'm not sure I want to just blurt out what to do or how to learn about anticipatory service.
Oh, very well...if you insist. But you will need to make up your own mind as to how much you wish to know.
In a nut shell, anticipatory service is knowing what someone wants before they know they want it. British Airways has this down to a science but then, the British know the value of good service. After all, they have more or less perfected it. The Chinese and the Japanese also have excellent backgrounds in the use of such service....the Chinese especially...but it is the British to whom we look to for the main example.
There is much discussion between the merits of Anticipatory and Reactive service. Reactive service is one where a wish is made and the wish is granted. Much like going to a restaurant. Both styles have their merits and to exclude one type of service for another one is just silly. Life isn't that cut and dried.
To learn anticipatory service is to practice patience. Once you do that, most everything else will fall in place. To prepare, I suggest you study body language. Yup. The body will tell you most everything you want to know. Know what a 'tell' is? If you play poker, you may already know what it is. A 'tell' is a reaction on the part of the body due to some sort of stimulus. Lets use a common example. Eyes are said to be the window of the soul. Maybe, but they can tell us quite a bit about some one. Lets use the poker player as an example again yes? If he's not wearing shades, then, lets assume he's just been given the best hand he's ever had. The muscles in his face do not move.....after all, he's been playing a long time. There's not a twitch anywhere. But his eyes.....ah, his eyes. The pupil dialates. It is a pleasure reaction and if you were looking at him, you would notice....unless he's browned eyed. That's a tell. Others are facial movements, like a sort of twitch of a mucle near the mouth, the pursing of the mouth...even in how one exhales. You need to learn how to interpet what those mean which is why you need to study body language.
As an aside here...some of you will be able to apply this knowledge in your every day life to your benefit.
So, go to google and search for books on body language. It will be of great help. Depending on your dominant, you may wish to pick up books on table service, lay out and such. Pick up books on protocol. A book of etiquette is a given book to have in your personal library. Study these, they may help you to save your dominant from some faux pas. If any of you are former military, then a great deal of this will be old hat to you and of extreme usefulness. Apply this to your dominant. Observe them. If they smoke...learn to know when they will be about to light up and have your lighter ready. Know when they would like to have something to drink. Know when they are thinking of having a snack and have the snack ready before they even ask. You have to think ahead....plan. Know. We really are creatures of habit. It should be fairly easy.
Sometimes we will fool you. But don't let it throw you. Be as the reed, bend as the wind blows. If you have applied your studies, you will have forseen this event and will be able to put plan b into action.
But your service is not all anticipatory. It is reactionary as well. It is a mix of the two. It is for you to make it as seamless as possible. It will be a never ending learning process. I suggest also keeping a note pad in your pocket. There will be guests....and fine service is also anticipating their needs as well. You are a reflection of your Dominant you know.
I know this sounds like an awful lot to learn. At first, it is. You have to absorb what the books are telling you, then putting it in to practice. It is a never ending lesson. You should never become compliant. Life will test you. Your Dominant will test you. It is up to you how you answer.
All you have to do is observe and wait. The answer is there.
Oh, very well...if you insist. But you will need to make up your own mind as to how much you wish to know.
In a nut shell, anticipatory service is knowing what someone wants before they know they want it. British Airways has this down to a science but then, the British know the value of good service. After all, they have more or less perfected it. The Chinese and the Japanese also have excellent backgrounds in the use of such service....the Chinese especially...but it is the British to whom we look to for the main example.
There is much discussion between the merits of Anticipatory and Reactive service. Reactive service is one where a wish is made and the wish is granted. Much like going to a restaurant. Both styles have their merits and to exclude one type of service for another one is just silly. Life isn't that cut and dried.
To learn anticipatory service is to practice patience. Once you do that, most everything else will fall in place. To prepare, I suggest you study body language. Yup. The body will tell you most everything you want to know. Know what a 'tell' is? If you play poker, you may already know what it is. A 'tell' is a reaction on the part of the body due to some sort of stimulus. Lets use a common example. Eyes are said to be the window of the soul. Maybe, but they can tell us quite a bit about some one. Lets use the poker player as an example again yes? If he's not wearing shades, then, lets assume he's just been given the best hand he's ever had. The muscles in his face do not move.....after all, he's been playing a long time. There's not a twitch anywhere. But his eyes.....ah, his eyes. The pupil dialates. It is a pleasure reaction and if you were looking at him, you would notice....unless he's browned eyed. That's a tell. Others are facial movements, like a sort of twitch of a mucle near the mouth, the pursing of the mouth...even in how one exhales. You need to learn how to interpet what those mean which is why you need to study body language.
As an aside here...some of you will be able to apply this knowledge in your every day life to your benefit.
So, go to google and search for books on body language. It will be of great help. Depending on your dominant, you may wish to pick up books on table service, lay out and such. Pick up books on protocol. A book of etiquette is a given book to have in your personal library. Study these, they may help you to save your dominant from some faux pas. If any of you are former military, then a great deal of this will be old hat to you and of extreme usefulness. Apply this to your dominant. Observe them. If they smoke...learn to know when they will be about to light up and have your lighter ready. Know when they would like to have something to drink. Know when they are thinking of having a snack and have the snack ready before they even ask. You have to think ahead....plan. Know. We really are creatures of habit. It should be fairly easy.
Sometimes we will fool you. But don't let it throw you. Be as the reed, bend as the wind blows. If you have applied your studies, you will have forseen this event and will be able to put plan b into action.
But your service is not all anticipatory. It is reactionary as well. It is a mix of the two. It is for you to make it as seamless as possible. It will be a never ending learning process. I suggest also keeping a note pad in your pocket. There will be guests....and fine service is also anticipating their needs as well. You are a reflection of your Dominant you know.
I know this sounds like an awful lot to learn. At first, it is. You have to absorb what the books are telling you, then putting it in to practice. It is a never ending lesson. You should never become compliant. Life will test you. Your Dominant will test you. It is up to you how you answer.
All you have to do is observe and wait. The answer is there.
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