I've been asked about my view on using humiliation as a bdsm tool. Personally, I can't see doing it, not as a part of how I do things. Let's take a look at it: humiliation is the tearing down of someone's self esteem.
What useful propose does it serve? All I see at first is the use of humiliation to build up one's self by tearing down someone else's self esteem.
That's just wrong in my opinion. I may as well shout to the world that I see myself as worthless and must destroy others to make myself look better. As a dominant...I see that as having no control in my personal life. If that is something I'd have to do to make myself seem....'more' then well, that's a rather significant flaw I think. Its something that would cross over into vanilla life. I'd be rude to people I see as insignificant.
I've seen this sort of behaviour in the vanilla world much too often. I'm sure you've seen it too. We see it in tv shows, news reports and while standing in line at the check-out counter. We see it with parents, with children and with people in authority. Do we need it in kink also?
Some people think so. I get requests for it a lot. "Humiliate me Mistress". It may be a genuine need. I simply can't see myself doing it. I don't need to build myself up. I'm comfortable with whom and what I am. It maybe be that I could humiliate someone but my fear is that I'd tear them down and give them nothing in return except fear.
Not that fear is a bad thing mind you....but I like creating fear in another way entirely.
So, humiliation is a limit for me.
'nuff said!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Its that time of year once again....
I was mostly always convinced that this time of year was a commercial creation.
What the dickens does Santa Claus have to do with the birth of Jesus? When did we go from celebrating a birth of a wise man, to 8 tiny reindeer disturbing yer sleep?
Tell me! It makes no sense.
I don't celebrate this holiday. I acknowledge that perhaps Jesus was really born this month, but I'm more inclined to believe that the Christian church in their zeal to convert pagans, perverted pagan holidays into Christian ones...lets sugar coat that conversion.
Now, its simply a money making deal.
Where is Jesus going though the money changers at the temple when we really need him?
I think He'd be a bit disappointed at what we've done in His name.
Makes me glad I am Buddhist in my outlook.
'nuff said!
What the dickens does Santa Claus have to do with the birth of Jesus? When did we go from celebrating a birth of a wise man, to 8 tiny reindeer disturbing yer sleep?
Tell me! It makes no sense.
I don't celebrate this holiday. I acknowledge that perhaps Jesus was really born this month, but I'm more inclined to believe that the Christian church in their zeal to convert pagans, perverted pagan holidays into Christian ones...lets sugar coat that conversion.
Now, its simply a money making deal.
Where is Jesus going though the money changers at the temple when we really need him?
I think He'd be a bit disappointed at what we've done in His name.
Makes me glad I am Buddhist in my outlook.
'nuff said!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
a WTMF moment...
A friend of mine went to a slosh in another state recently. He said, "I got an invitation home, from a submissive, and I asked her how her Dom would feel about that. She said "He pretty much does what I tell him to do.""
My jaw dropped and I typed, "What???"
He goes, "Yeah".
"Geezus!" I typed
He goes on to say, "I asked her to explain that and she said "Being a dom is a privilege."
Typing that made me feel besmirched. I feel unclean. It makes me want to hang up my straps and take up knitting. I have to go wash my hands now...probably in acid....the dirt goes so deep.
Back now.... But of course it is a privilege to be Dominant. Not every body is cut out to be a dominant person, some can only do it with permission! But I took her meaning to be that of a submissive who isn't. It was so damn disrespectful it made me want to go out and smack some unsuspecting subbie.
Privilege. Bah.
This is the thinking of the current bdsm community. It sucks, it reeks of a reekiness. It is the beginning of the decline of bdsm as it was, as it should be. It is the thinking of those who are all about the safety nazis. It is the thinking of those who can not think for themselves and can only find what they think they are by reading sites dedicated to telling you what you can and can not do as a dominant and how much power you have as a submissive.
As my friend said, he can remember when submission was a NEED not a WANT. Too many people are now getting mixed up in it that should not be allowed out of their little padded cells. They are damaged souls, twisted minds and that does include both the dominants and the subs. This was a magnificent subculture that has now become main stream. And in doing so, it has attracted both the best and the worst of humanity. It is now where the submissives have set themselves up as the final arbitrators of what is allowed to with dominants. The Dominants have now become the toys of the submissives.
Raise yer hand if that sounds so very wrong to you....
NATURALLY, in the SSC and RACK and other capitalized words.....when one takes on a sub, there is that period of negotiation. We all need limits spelt out. But once agreed upon that should be where it ends. If you don't trust him/her, don't be there.
But, that won't work for the little safety nazis....nope, they want more and demand more. In return, they ruin it for everyone.
My boys have it easy. They either trust me or not. They submit or they do not. I make certain promises to them. They accept my terms or not. I'm not here to cater to their little whimpering egos or desire to control what I do. Once they hand off to me, that's it. Their only way to stop what is to befall them is to utter their safe word. A moment to rest, then a question: "are you ready to continue?" Yes or no decides the next moment.
she said "Being a dom is a privilege." No, being a truly submissive submissive is a privilege.
My jaw dropped and I typed, "What???"
He goes, "Yeah".
"Geezus!" I typed
He goes on to say, "I asked her to explain that and she said "Being a dom is a privilege."
Typing that made me feel besmirched. I feel unclean. It makes me want to hang up my straps and take up knitting. I have to go wash my hands now...probably in acid....the dirt goes so deep.
Back now.... But of course it is a privilege to be Dominant. Not every body is cut out to be a dominant person, some can only do it with permission! But I took her meaning to be that of a submissive who isn't. It was so damn disrespectful it made me want to go out and smack some unsuspecting subbie.
Privilege. Bah.
This is the thinking of the current bdsm community. It sucks, it reeks of a reekiness. It is the beginning of the decline of bdsm as it was, as it should be. It is the thinking of those who are all about the safety nazis. It is the thinking of those who can not think for themselves and can only find what they think they are by reading sites dedicated to telling you what you can and can not do as a dominant and how much power you have as a submissive.
As my friend said, he can remember when submission was a NEED not a WANT. Too many people are now getting mixed up in it that should not be allowed out of their little padded cells. They are damaged souls, twisted minds and that does include both the dominants and the subs. This was a magnificent subculture that has now become main stream. And in doing so, it has attracted both the best and the worst of humanity. It is now where the submissives have set themselves up as the final arbitrators of what is allowed to with dominants. The Dominants have now become the toys of the submissives.
Raise yer hand if that sounds so very wrong to you....
NATURALLY, in the SSC and RACK and other capitalized words.....when one takes on a sub, there is that period of negotiation. We all need limits spelt out. But once agreed upon that should be where it ends. If you don't trust him/her, don't be there.
But, that won't work for the little safety nazis....nope, they want more and demand more. In return, they ruin it for everyone.
My boys have it easy. They either trust me or not. They submit or they do not. I make certain promises to them. They accept my terms or not. I'm not here to cater to their little whimpering egos or desire to control what I do. Once they hand off to me, that's it. Their only way to stop what is to befall them is to utter their safe word. A moment to rest, then a question: "are you ready to continue?" Yes or no decides the next moment.
she said "Being a dom is a privilege." No, being a truly submissive submissive is a privilege.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The Natural Dominant Male
If I knew words better I'd preface this statement I'm about to show you with grand statements of my own. Really tho, all I can say to you few who do read this is that the truth of this statement should change your life as it is relevant to the lifestyle. I'd like to think....well, I wish I were so pure:
'nuff said, I think.
The best submissives I have discovered and spent time with were found in non-lifestyle settings and were simply behaving like submissives and not claiming to be. It occurs to me that I have brought more submissives into the life than I have found in it. As a man who is consiberably more naturally dominant than conforming lifestyle dominant, I need to remember that my true satisfaction is to be found in expressing my nature as a leader, a teacher, a lover, an elder...and a warrior...in my family, my community, and my business associations. My identity as a testosterone-driven alpha male arises from within, and is not an artificial and external role.
The "social aspect" or "community element" of the lifestyle, the parties, the munches and sloshes, all of that... is for men who need some setting or context in which to "act out" being a dominant male, with willing participants who will cooperate with the act, play the corresponding role, and artificially validate or confirm the man's charade in an organized roleplay or ritualized interaction.
A naturally and genuinely submissive female, with NO knowledge or experience of 'the lifestyle', instinctively recognizes me for what I am. She reacts to the scent of testosterone and pheremones, the control in my voice, the measured body language, the look in my eye. Her perception of me is untainted by the stereotypes or expectations of a dominant male that are imposed by a culture which provides a "norm" or "standard" for such a man to conform to. She is pliant and demure with me by nature, she defers to me because it feels right to do so, and my positive response to it is attention she craves on an instinctive level...genetically. The female wants to mate with the male who will give her the strongest offspring. Natural selection at the sexual level.
I am what the lifestyle gives beta males the context and dynamics to SIMULATE.
I will not engage in any interaction which leads me to be treated identically to those beta males who are trying to pass themselves off as what I am, and I won't be grouped with them or classified as one of them.
If you will read back through this a couple more times and meditate upon it before you form an opinion or respond, I believe you will wholeheartedly appreciate the real meaning of what I am saying.
Having said this, I think you might be one of a handful of people in the lifestyle who can actually understand and appreciate it.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Anticipatory service: what to do
It is a misleading title. I'm not sure I want to just blurt out what to do or how to learn about anticipatory service.
Oh, very well...if you insist. But you will need to make up your own mind as to how much you wish to know.
In a nut shell, anticipatory service is knowing what someone wants before they know they want it. British Airways has this down to a science but then, the British know the value of good service. After all, they have more or less perfected it. The Chinese and the Japanese also have excellent backgrounds in the use of such service....the Chinese especially...but it is the British to whom we look to for the main example.
There is much discussion between the merits of Anticipatory and Reactive service. Reactive service is one where a wish is made and the wish is granted. Much like going to a restaurant. Both styles have their merits and to exclude one type of service for another one is just silly. Life isn't that cut and dried.
To learn anticipatory service is to practice patience. Once you do that, most everything else will fall in place. To prepare, I suggest you study body language. Yup. The body will tell you most everything you want to know. Know what a 'tell' is? If you play poker, you may already know what it is. A 'tell' is a reaction on the part of the body due to some sort of stimulus. Lets use a common example. Eyes are said to be the window of the soul. Maybe, but they can tell us quite a bit about some one. Lets use the poker player as an example again yes? If he's not wearing shades, then, lets assume he's just been given the best hand he's ever had. The muscles in his face do not move.....after all, he's been playing a long time. There's not a twitch anywhere. But his eyes.....ah, his eyes. The pupil dialates. It is a pleasure reaction and if you were looking at him, you would notice....unless he's browned eyed. That's a tell. Others are facial movements, like a sort of twitch of a mucle near the mouth, the pursing of the mouth...even in how one exhales. You need to learn how to interpet what those mean which is why you need to study body language.
As an aside here...some of you will be able to apply this knowledge in your every day life to your benefit.
So, go to google and search for books on body language. It will be of great help. Depending on your dominant, you may wish to pick up books on table service, lay out and such. Pick up books on protocol. A book of etiquette is a given book to have in your personal library. Study these, they may help you to save your dominant from some faux pas. If any of you are former military, then a great deal of this will be old hat to you and of extreme usefulness. Apply this to your dominant. Observe them. If they smoke...learn to know when they will be about to light up and have your lighter ready. Know when they would like to have something to drink. Know when they are thinking of having a snack and have the snack ready before they even ask. You have to think ahead....plan. Know. We really are creatures of habit. It should be fairly easy.
Sometimes we will fool you. But don't let it throw you. Be as the reed, bend as the wind blows. If you have applied your studies, you will have forseen this event and will be able to put plan b into action.
But your service is not all anticipatory. It is reactionary as well. It is a mix of the two. It is for you to make it as seamless as possible. It will be a never ending learning process. I suggest also keeping a note pad in your pocket. There will be guests....and fine service is also anticipating their needs as well. You are a reflection of your Dominant you know.
I know this sounds like an awful lot to learn. At first, it is. You have to absorb what the books are telling you, then putting it in to practice. It is a never ending lesson. You should never become compliant. Life will test you. Your Dominant will test you. It is up to you how you answer.
All you have to do is observe and wait. The answer is there.
Oh, very well...if you insist. But you will need to make up your own mind as to how much you wish to know.
In a nut shell, anticipatory service is knowing what someone wants before they know they want it. British Airways has this down to a science but then, the British know the value of good service. After all, they have more or less perfected it. The Chinese and the Japanese also have excellent backgrounds in the use of such service....the Chinese especially...but it is the British to whom we look to for the main example.
There is much discussion between the merits of Anticipatory and Reactive service. Reactive service is one where a wish is made and the wish is granted. Much like going to a restaurant. Both styles have their merits and to exclude one type of service for another one is just silly. Life isn't that cut and dried.
To learn anticipatory service is to practice patience. Once you do that, most everything else will fall in place. To prepare, I suggest you study body language. Yup. The body will tell you most everything you want to know. Know what a 'tell' is? If you play poker, you may already know what it is. A 'tell' is a reaction on the part of the body due to some sort of stimulus. Lets use a common example. Eyes are said to be the window of the soul. Maybe, but they can tell us quite a bit about some one. Lets use the poker player as an example again yes? If he's not wearing shades, then, lets assume he's just been given the best hand he's ever had. The muscles in his face do not move.....after all, he's been playing a long time. There's not a twitch anywhere. But his eyes.....ah, his eyes. The pupil dialates. It is a pleasure reaction and if you were looking at him, you would notice....unless he's browned eyed. That's a tell. Others are facial movements, like a sort of twitch of a mucle near the mouth, the pursing of the mouth...even in how one exhales. You need to learn how to interpet what those mean which is why you need to study body language.
As an aside here...some of you will be able to apply this knowledge in your every day life to your benefit.
So, go to google and search for books on body language. It will be of great help. Depending on your dominant, you may wish to pick up books on table service, lay out and such. Pick up books on protocol. A book of etiquette is a given book to have in your personal library. Study these, they may help you to save your dominant from some faux pas. If any of you are former military, then a great deal of this will be old hat to you and of extreme usefulness. Apply this to your dominant. Observe them. If they smoke...learn to know when they will be about to light up and have your lighter ready. Know when they would like to have something to drink. Know when they are thinking of having a snack and have the snack ready before they even ask. You have to think ahead....plan. Know. We really are creatures of habit. It should be fairly easy.
Sometimes we will fool you. But don't let it throw you. Be as the reed, bend as the wind blows. If you have applied your studies, you will have forseen this event and will be able to put plan b into action.
But your service is not all anticipatory. It is reactionary as well. It is a mix of the two. It is for you to make it as seamless as possible. It will be a never ending learning process. I suggest also keeping a note pad in your pocket. There will be guests....and fine service is also anticipating their needs as well. You are a reflection of your Dominant you know.
I know this sounds like an awful lot to learn. At first, it is. You have to absorb what the books are telling you, then putting it in to practice. It is a never ending lesson. You should never become compliant. Life will test you. Your Dominant will test you. It is up to you how you answer.
All you have to do is observe and wait. The answer is there.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Bizarre day wasn't it?
So far I guess its 3 fer 3. Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcette and now Michael Jackson.
I must be a cold hearted bitch because I do not feel a thing. Nuthin' nada. I should feel sorry for the family they left behind, but I don't. All of these people were simply people I used to see on TV once in a while or would read about for some of the silly shit they did.
Ed was this old guy....you knew that was coming. Farrah, bless her, had cancer. You knew she was going too. Michael was a bit unusual....do you suppose it was something from all that surgery he had done? I admit, I'm going to be very interested in what his autopsy is going to reveil. Hell, I want to know if he was white all over or just on the exposed parts? Oh yes, how much of his face was wittled away for all that surgery.
Wonder how much his family is going to cover up? Oh and think of all the cancelled concert dates and the money that was put up for that. Wooboy, you know there is no cheer in Mudville tonight.
But, they all had good runs in this life and now they have shuffled off this mortal coil.
Gov. Sanford has to be grateful that some of the limelight is now off of him!
I must be a cold hearted bitch because I do not feel a thing. Nuthin' nada. I should feel sorry for the family they left behind, but I don't. All of these people were simply people I used to see on TV once in a while or would read about for some of the silly shit they did.
Ed was this old guy....you knew that was coming. Farrah, bless her, had cancer. You knew she was going too. Michael was a bit unusual....do you suppose it was something from all that surgery he had done? I admit, I'm going to be very interested in what his autopsy is going to reveil. Hell, I want to know if he was white all over or just on the exposed parts? Oh yes, how much of his face was wittled away for all that surgery.
Wonder how much his family is going to cover up? Oh and think of all the cancelled concert dates and the money that was put up for that. Wooboy, you know there is no cheer in Mudville tonight.
But, they all had good runs in this life and now they have shuffled off this mortal coil.
Gov. Sanford has to be grateful that some of the limelight is now off of him!
Monday, May 04, 2009
Golly.......gee whiz!
I was in a good mood today.
Seriously. I was happy and all, for several hours.
There was no reason for this good mood, I was just in it. It felt very good. Like sex without the mess, a nice juicy steak without the bloat, like strawberries with real whipped cream. It was 'lie down like a cat and just roll around in the sun' good. It was....like being a kid 'without a worry in the world' good.
It was just damn good.
Makes you wish that it could be bottled up and taken once a day. Come to think of it, it did remind me of being....er...smoked, but without the paranoia. Oh yes, those were the days.
I wish that I knew why I was in such a good mood. I'd do whatever it was all over again...and again...and again! I do think part of it was that I got out in the sun, was driving around with the windows down and just enjoying being alive. I was just being a good ole girl....and it helped that traffic wasn't being a pain in the arse.
There is also the fact that I am back in touch with an old buddy of mine...and he was all complimentary towards me. I have to learn to accept compliments, but its damn hard, even if it does take some work. Plus, he's actually, like the one person who actually understands my heart of darkness as he has one as well. I don't have to pretend to be like everyone else with him.
That could be it. I got to relax and just be me, the sick, twisted bitch that I am. Normals should thank goodness that there are laws in this country. Does make me wish there was a job market for what I am though. One should enjoy their work. Does the guy who does the canings in what ever country uses caning as punishment, whistle when he goes in to work? Does he wonder why they pay him for having a good time? I wish I could talk to them...learn, figure out what his mind set is.
Shit, I should be quiet now, darkness is seeping out.....don't want to scare you all.
Not too much anyway.
heh heh....
Seriously. I was happy and all, for several hours.
There was no reason for this good mood, I was just in it. It felt very good. Like sex without the mess, a nice juicy steak without the bloat, like strawberries with real whipped cream. It was 'lie down like a cat and just roll around in the sun' good. It was....like being a kid 'without a worry in the world' good.
It was just damn good.
Makes you wish that it could be bottled up and taken once a day. Come to think of it, it did remind me of being....er...smoked, but without the paranoia. Oh yes, those were the days.
I wish that I knew why I was in such a good mood. I'd do whatever it was all over again...and again...and again! I do think part of it was that I got out in the sun, was driving around with the windows down and just enjoying being alive. I was just being a good ole girl....and it helped that traffic wasn't being a pain in the arse.
There is also the fact that I am back in touch with an old buddy of mine...and he was all complimentary towards me. I have to learn to accept compliments, but its damn hard, even if it does take some work. Plus, he's actually, like the one person who actually understands my heart of darkness as he has one as well. I don't have to pretend to be like everyone else with him.
That could be it. I got to relax and just be me, the sick, twisted bitch that I am. Normals should thank goodness that there are laws in this country. Does make me wish there was a job market for what I am though. One should enjoy their work. Does the guy who does the canings in what ever country uses caning as punishment, whistle when he goes in to work? Does he wonder why they pay him for having a good time? I wish I could talk to them...learn, figure out what his mind set is.
Shit, I should be quiet now, darkness is seeping out.....don't want to scare you all.
Not too much anyway.
heh heh....
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A thoughtful Saving Grace
On TNT, on Mondays, there is this little show called Saving Grace. It is so....I dunno, it's about God, a foul month cop and an angel named Earl who has a spit cup.
When I first saw it...I didn't think it would last. Here is a cop, a detective actually, small, foul mouthed, having an affair with her married partner. She's Catholic..or well, her brother is a priest. She like to drink. A lot. Then she is stupid enough to drive and drives fast. She hits a man on the side of the road during one of her drunken drives and kills him.
She staggers out of the car over to where the guy is lying on the road...and she prays for help.
She gets it in the form of an angel who is scruffy looking and his name is Earl. Grace has a bit of a hard time understanding all of this because...well...consider: 1. she's got quite a bit of alcohol in her system. 2. God has angels named Earl? C'mon. This is not yer momma's 'Touched by an Angel' that's fersure.
Turns out the guy she ran over and thought she killed is a death row inmate named Leon. She meets him, and turns out they share Earl....he's a sort of 2nd chance angel. We follow part of their story for 2 seasons.
Google Saving Grace for the show's episodes if you want to know what happened, but I can tell you now and this is a spoiler for those of you who care about such things...Leon ends up on the table with needles in the arm.
I have to admit...even I was hoping the Governor would call.
This may make some of you unhappy, but I do believe in the death penalty. But, they have to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I believe people can change too. But, a life for a life is justice. Naturally, there are judgement calls...not everyone deserves to die for killing someone. Some people deserve killing....like child killers/molesters.
Leon, who is a complex sort of character deserved to die. He's caught on camera killing a guard. Maybe there was a reason why he did that...I don't remember if he ever said. Regardless, he did the deed and deserved to die for that. I still wanted him to live though because he had a good heart.
We don't get to know how many of the people on death row ended up there. We don't know their reasons for what they did. We don't know if they are remorseful for their actions....and if we would believe them if they said they were. I know I'd have a hard time believing anything they said because people will say pretty much anything to keep from dying. Its human nature to want to survive even if one is stuck behind bars.
Monday's Saving Grace made me question for a moment, my belief in the death penalty. So many people worked to get the sentence commuted to life imprisonment. I'm not so sure that would be any better than death. People are not meant to be placed in small cells for long periods of time. I suppose for many, death is something to be feared. After all, there might actually be a hell. Still, kill, be killed. The answer to that is not to kill in the first place.
That's the simple answer. Don't kill to begin with. Who knows why people do the crazy ass things they do in situations like that. I don't really believe there is a simple answer. I'll miss Leon, but there is something else coming alone that will be interesting for a while. At least Leon died in grace and that's something good.
'nuff said
When I first saw it...I didn't think it would last. Here is a cop, a detective actually, small, foul mouthed, having an affair with her married partner. She's Catholic..or well, her brother is a priest. She like to drink. A lot. Then she is stupid enough to drive and drives fast. She hits a man on the side of the road during one of her drunken drives and kills him.
She staggers out of the car over to where the guy is lying on the road...and she prays for help.
She gets it in the form of an angel who is scruffy looking and his name is Earl. Grace has a bit of a hard time understanding all of this because...well...consider: 1. she's got quite a bit of alcohol in her system. 2. God has angels named Earl? C'mon. This is not yer momma's 'Touched by an Angel' that's fersure.
Turns out the guy she ran over and thought she killed is a death row inmate named Leon. She meets him, and turns out they share Earl....he's a sort of 2nd chance angel. We follow part of their story for 2 seasons.
Google Saving Grace for the show's episodes if you want to know what happened, but I can tell you now and this is a spoiler for those of you who care about such things...Leon ends up on the table with needles in the arm.
I have to admit...even I was hoping the Governor would call.
This may make some of you unhappy, but I do believe in the death penalty. But, they have to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I believe people can change too. But, a life for a life is justice. Naturally, there are judgement calls...not everyone deserves to die for killing someone. Some people deserve killing....like child killers/molesters.
Leon, who is a complex sort of character deserved to die. He's caught on camera killing a guard. Maybe there was a reason why he did that...I don't remember if he ever said. Regardless, he did the deed and deserved to die for that. I still wanted him to live though because he had a good heart.
We don't get to know how many of the people on death row ended up there. We don't know their reasons for what they did. We don't know if they are remorseful for their actions....and if we would believe them if they said they were. I know I'd have a hard time believing anything they said because people will say pretty much anything to keep from dying. Its human nature to want to survive even if one is stuck behind bars.
Monday's Saving Grace made me question for a moment, my belief in the death penalty. So many people worked to get the sentence commuted to life imprisonment. I'm not so sure that would be any better than death. People are not meant to be placed in small cells for long periods of time. I suppose for many, death is something to be feared. After all, there might actually be a hell. Still, kill, be killed. The answer to that is not to kill in the first place.
That's the simple answer. Don't kill to begin with. Who knows why people do the crazy ass things they do in situations like that. I don't really believe there is a simple answer. I'll miss Leon, but there is something else coming alone that will be interesting for a while. At least Leon died in grace and that's something good.
'nuff said
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Smoking rant
I am a smoker. I like to smoke. I enjoy smoking with friends. I like taking the first drag off a cigarette. I also hate the taste. I dislike smoke in my eyes. I don't like the smell on my clothes. But, I smoke anyway because I can.
You non-smoking Nazis can just kiss my ass.
I'm tired of the lawsuits from people who have been smoking for centuries who once they find out they have lung cancer or emphysema decide they want the rest of us who smoke to pay for their damn addiction.
No one held a cigarette to your head and made you light up. No one told you to inhale. No one forced you to buy pack after pack, carton after carton week after week. No one made you do squat. You were warned. They put warnings everywhere. You were warned and you chose to ignore it.
I'm sorry you have whatever illness you have from it, but I'm not going to pay for your addiction. Accept that you are ill with grace and deal. Accept YOUR responsibility for smoking in spite of being told again and again that it was bad for you...deadly even. Don't make the rest of us pay for it.
It ain't right.
putz
You non-smoking Nazis can just kiss my ass.
I'm tired of the lawsuits from people who have been smoking for centuries who once they find out they have lung cancer or emphysema decide they want the rest of us who smoke to pay for their damn addiction.
No one held a cigarette to your head and made you light up. No one told you to inhale. No one forced you to buy pack after pack, carton after carton week after week. No one made you do squat. You were warned. They put warnings everywhere. You were warned and you chose to ignore it.
I'm sorry you have whatever illness you have from it, but I'm not going to pay for your addiction. Accept that you are ill with grace and deal. Accept YOUR responsibility for smoking in spite of being told again and again that it was bad for you...deadly even. Don't make the rest of us pay for it.
It ain't right.
putz
Sunday, February 15, 2009
morning after...
It is now the morning after a fetish party.
Man, am I drained. I woke up and felt hung over. That is usually the sign of a good party. I'm glad I didn't have to drive home. The masters had plenty of food left and I got to actually sleep late because they were not running up and down my body waking me up at 7am. If they had done that today, there may have well been 2 furry splats on the wall. No sleep and a cat using me as rugby field would not have been pretty.
I get home, I know they are not happy. I let them outside, and they eventually come back looking a little happier but me being gone overnight is punishable and punish me they will.
Rotten felines.
So the party was fun. Different venue.
I'm tired....so it was all good.
I did notice that I didn't know half the people there.....hell, I'd say I didn't know at least 80 percent of the people there. I'm rather insular I know and I do know the scene changes all the time. But still, where did all those people come from?
Some people I knew and didn't speak with, spoke with me. I found that interesting after a year or so they deemed it was time to talk. Naturally, I wonder about motives but this once, it doesn't matter. They talked, I listened and maybe, just maybe I'll let it go at that. Its like a sore, you know, if you keep picking at it, it doesn't get better and it can leave a scar if you are not careful.
I did get to see some of my favourite people and some people I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. But, I'm human enough to pity them for some of their troubles....and so I do.
oooh, I also met a delightful person....and no you rabid mob, I'm not going to tell you anything about him.
Cause I don't know anything except the important stuff. Well, important to me. Some of you I told you about this person...the rest of you....will just have to envy them for knowing.
ha!
'nuff said
Man, am I drained. I woke up and felt hung over. That is usually the sign of a good party. I'm glad I didn't have to drive home. The masters had plenty of food left and I got to actually sleep late because they were not running up and down my body waking me up at 7am. If they had done that today, there may have well been 2 furry splats on the wall. No sleep and a cat using me as rugby field would not have been pretty.
I get home, I know they are not happy. I let them outside, and they eventually come back looking a little happier but me being gone overnight is punishable and punish me they will.
Rotten felines.
So the party was fun. Different venue.
I'm tired....so it was all good.
I did notice that I didn't know half the people there.....hell, I'd say I didn't know at least 80 percent of the people there. I'm rather insular I know and I do know the scene changes all the time. But still, where did all those people come from?
Some people I knew and didn't speak with, spoke with me. I found that interesting after a year or so they deemed it was time to talk. Naturally, I wonder about motives but this once, it doesn't matter. They talked, I listened and maybe, just maybe I'll let it go at that. Its like a sore, you know, if you keep picking at it, it doesn't get better and it can leave a scar if you are not careful.
I did get to see some of my favourite people and some people I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire. But, I'm human enough to pity them for some of their troubles....and so I do.
oooh, I also met a delightful person....and no you rabid mob, I'm not going to tell you anything about him.
Cause I don't know anything except the important stuff. Well, important to me. Some of you I told you about this person...the rest of you....will just have to envy them for knowing.
ha!
'nuff said
Monday, February 09, 2009
A comfortable pose
I screwed up my courage to sit in front of a camera and let a friend take pictures of my face with different things on. This is one of the results and I got to say..."Damn, I look amazing!"
You tell me what you think.
Friday, January 23, 2009
A little story
Way back in my archives here, there is story of a little sub that did.
She bad mouthed her Dominant to any and all. Because of that, he took a lot of unwarranted abuse from the community.
This is wrong you idiots. If someone is being bad mouthed find out why. Don't just depend on one version of the truth.
There are 3 sides. Always. 3 sides.
Theirs
Someone else's
and the truth.
It won't be easy figuring out what is what, but dig. Don't just jump in on one side of the other. Unless you are a close friend to one or the other. In that case, you are somewhat prejudiced and no one should listen to you anyway unless you were actually present at what ever broke the camel's back and even then what you say should be taken with a tub of salt.
Investigate. If the law behaved like some of the frelling people in the bdsm community, all our asses would be in jail. All of us...even our pets.
You believe that statement? If you do, you are a bigger fool than I thought I wish you'd just go away in case it rubs off on me or something.
Any of you ever hear of the word 'revenge'? Think about it a moment. Think a little more....yup. You got it. NOT all dominants accused are abusive and not all subs are truthful about the abuse.
Think people, think........use what little brains you have left.
I've defended friends. I know you have to. We all have. Its good to defend your friends, and if they are really your friend, then you already know a bit of what they are really like. Are they capable of what ever might have happened?
Yes? No? No way they could ever do something like that?
Here's a little truth to you. People who live next door to paedophiles, serial killers and other types have mostly all said they were nice people....willing to help, nice, never a problem. People who have family members who were like that said, no way, a member of their family could never do that.
But they did.
So, when you condemn someone in the community think about what you are doing. When defend your friend, know them for what they are.....NOT what you think them to be. Don't be blind. If they are your friend, then whatever they are...it falls on your then to prove that friendship....but I'm sure there are limits to even what one can tolerate from a friend or family member regarding killing and such.
Look before you jump. It was true when you were a kid...its even more true now.
'nuff said
She bad mouthed her Dominant to any and all. Because of that, he took a lot of unwarranted abuse from the community.
This is wrong you idiots. If someone is being bad mouthed find out why. Don't just depend on one version of the truth.
There are 3 sides. Always. 3 sides.
Theirs
Someone else's
and the truth.
It won't be easy figuring out what is what, but dig. Don't just jump in on one side of the other. Unless you are a close friend to one or the other. In that case, you are somewhat prejudiced and no one should listen to you anyway unless you were actually present at what ever broke the camel's back and even then what you say should be taken with a tub of salt.
Investigate. If the law behaved like some of the frelling people in the bdsm community, all our asses would be in jail. All of us...even our pets.
All dominants who are accused are villains. All submissives who say they are abused are telling the truth.
You believe that statement? If you do, you are a bigger fool than I thought I wish you'd just go away in case it rubs off on me or something.
Any of you ever hear of the word 'revenge'? Think about it a moment. Think a little more....yup. You got it. NOT all dominants accused are abusive and not all subs are truthful about the abuse.
Think people, think........use what little brains you have left.
I've defended friends. I know you have to. We all have. Its good to defend your friends, and if they are really your friend, then you already know a bit of what they are really like. Are they capable of what ever might have happened?
Yes? No? No way they could ever do something like that?
Here's a little truth to you. People who live next door to paedophiles, serial killers and other types have mostly all said they were nice people....willing to help, nice, never a problem. People who have family members who were like that said, no way, a member of their family could never do that.
But they did.
So, when you condemn someone in the community think about what you are doing. When defend your friend, know them for what they are.....NOT what you think them to be. Don't be blind. If they are your friend, then whatever they are...it falls on your then to prove that friendship....but I'm sure there are limits to even what one can tolerate from a friend or family member regarding killing and such.
Look before you jump. It was true when you were a kid...its even more true now.
'nuff said
Monday, January 19, 2009
A rant and a half
February is Black History month. There are federal holidays to celebrate both black and white citizens. In 1870 the 15th Amendment to the Constitution grants voting rights to Black men. In 1920 the 19th Amendment grants women the right to vote. On June 2, 1924, Congress enacted the Indian Citizenship Act, which granted citizenship to all Native Americans born in the U.S. The right to vote, however, was governed by state law; until 1957, some states barred Native Americans from voting. According to the a senate site:
1957. The year I was born. Utah is the state where my tribe is located.
Most of us take our right to vote for granted. I know I do. I also know that most of us Native People have no idea just how badly we have been denied. We were not even citizens of our own country.
How fucked up is that?
Black, women...were all given the right to vote years before we were.
How fucked up is that?
So, what's my beef?
...voting procedures are delegated to the states, and well past 1924 some states misused this power to continue to deny Native Americans the right to vote. For example, as late as 1962, New Mexico still overtly prohibited Native Americans from voting.It also says:
Legal obstacles.
Historically, there were four major arguments used by states to justify their continued disenfranchisement of Native voters:
1) Indians were under federal guardianship, or were federal "wards," and therefore not independent and competent for voting;
2) Indians living on reservation lands were residents of their reservation and not of the state (even though the Supreme Court declared all reservation Indians residents of their states in 1881);
3) Indians did not pay state taxes and, therefore, should not be able to affect revenue decisions; and (Utah disenfranchised Indian voters by claiming that Indians residing on reservations did not qualify as residents of the state, despite the 1881 Supreme Court decision to the contrary. This statute stood until 1957 when, under threat of reversal by Supreme Court, the state legislature abolished it.);
4) Indians were not "civilized," and their continued participation in their Tribal communities precluded participation in other elections.
Cultural obstacles. It was this last legal prohibition, the requirement that Native Americans be "civilized" before being granted the right to vote, that compounded the already complex and difficult issue of citizenship and civil participation for Natives. Many Indians had no interest in U.S. citizenship and even sought to reject it. Some believed that accepting citizenship with the very government that had oppressed one's community seemed tantamount to treason, or, at best, foolishness.
Past governmental efforts at registering or identifying community members had been for the purpose of taking land, relocating a community, or forcefully removing children to boarding schools. These experiences, ingrained in the collective memory of Native communities, are apparent in the ongoing resistance to "register" for a government ID, to "register" to vote, or, to "register" for any purpose with any governmental entity.
These concerns were only exacerbated by the requirement of many states, including Idaho, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota, that Indians had to relinquish their tribal allegiances and become "civilized," according to the majority community's standards, before they were able to vote. The negative association between betrayal of their own community and voting has had long-lasting effects on current attitudes toward voting in the Native community.
1957. The year I was born. Utah is the state where my tribe is located.
Most of us take our right to vote for granted. I know I do. I also know that most of us Native People have no idea just how badly we have been denied. We were not even citizens of our own country.
How fucked up is that?
Black, women...were all given the right to vote years before we were.
How fucked up is that?
So, what's my beef?
Around the country, Indians are increasingly getting elected to state office and taking part in a political process that they once kept at arm's length.
"Indians were here first -- it's about time," said former Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell, who was the only American Indian in Congress from 1992 to 2004. "We're way behind the African Americans and Hispanic Americans in getting politically involved, but we're beginning to take a page out of their notebook."
While Indians are rare in Congress -- Rep. Tom Cole, a Chickasaw from Oklahoma, is the only one -- 48 are serving in 12 state legislatures, up from 36 a couple of years ago. Oklahoma has the most, 10, followed by eight in Montana, seven in Alaska and five in New Mexico, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.
Leech Lake tribal chairman George Goggleye, blames the dearth of Indian lawmakers on racism, lack of political experience and money, and the tribes' relatively small numbers.
Nighthorse Campbell suggested another reason: hostility toward the U.S. political system. He said that when he first ran for office, militant Indian friends questioned why he would get involved with a government they viewed as the enemy.
So, I wonder, when are we going to get our head out of the tee pee and into the rest of the world? Yes, I know we go on and on about the poverty and such of the reservations but do something while you are there...take advantage of any and all opportunities that are available. Then do as some of the others have done and go into office and change things from the inside. Be useful. not 'nuff said at all...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Forgiveness and other fables...
I took a good hard look at myself the other night.
I find I'm not a very forgiving person...at least, not with people I loathe. I should have been shocked to find this out.
I wasn't.
But, for all its intensity, its not lasting. I mean, if I waste any time actually thinking about it, the loathing is there. But in my day to day life....it won't be in any thoughts. I don't have time for it. It takes too much energy and I have better things to do.
I will admit...and do keep this under your hat, that I am just the bit amused by it. Oh yes, it gives me some giggle time imagining various tortures and such...what I'd say, etc. I do love the grand speech...besides, isn't that villains do?
I had to think if I would accept an apology. I know I haven't been asked to accept one, but the possibility of it was presented. What would I do? Would I accept it graciously? Would I curl my lip and sneer at it? I just don't know. I know if I were to accept it, it would be....a fake acceptance on my part. I wouldn't mean it and I wouldn't have actually accepted it. It would be more honest of me to refuse it.
But who wants honesty any more?
Fortunately, I haven't had to answer that question. Nothing has been mentioned and I believe, that it won't ever be. Many do think I would be gracious. That would be the correct thing to do. It would be the Christian thing to do, turn the other cheek and all.
Well honey, I've run out of cheeks a long damn time ago.
Nor am I Christian. I have a belief in a creator. I think, I even believe in Jesus. But everything else I gots serious doubts about. I don't believe a God would send down all these rules and thing concerning women, making them.....less. I believe the bible was written by men, not inspired by God, but to put forth their own agenda regarding women.
ok, I'll stop now. I'm about to go off on a rant about religion and I don't want to do that. But to finish the thought...I consider myself to be a Buddhist. I like the philosophy. It really says, just be responsible for your actions. Jesus pretty much said the same thing, but no one really listened. They still aren't...and human kind has had over 2000 years to wake up and smell the damn roses.
sheesh, there I go again, off on this tangent.
So, unless I actually believe someone has actually taken responsibilty for their actions, no forgiveness from me. I'm still waiting on Jimmy Swaggert to actually be sorry...along with some other well known sinners.
Bring the brass monkey in tonight....
'nuff said........
I find I'm not a very forgiving person...at least, not with people I loathe. I should have been shocked to find this out.
I wasn't.
But, for all its intensity, its not lasting. I mean, if I waste any time actually thinking about it, the loathing is there. But in my day to day life....it won't be in any thoughts. I don't have time for it. It takes too much energy and I have better things to do.
I will admit...and do keep this under your hat, that I am just the bit amused by it. Oh yes, it gives me some giggle time imagining various tortures and such...what I'd say, etc. I do love the grand speech...besides, isn't that villains do?
I had to think if I would accept an apology. I know I haven't been asked to accept one, but the possibility of it was presented. What would I do? Would I accept it graciously? Would I curl my lip and sneer at it? I just don't know. I know if I were to accept it, it would be....a fake acceptance on my part. I wouldn't mean it and I wouldn't have actually accepted it. It would be more honest of me to refuse it.
But who wants honesty any more?
Fortunately, I haven't had to answer that question. Nothing has been mentioned and I believe, that it won't ever be. Many do think I would be gracious. That would be the correct thing to do. It would be the Christian thing to do, turn the other cheek and all.
Well honey, I've run out of cheeks a long damn time ago.
Nor am I Christian. I have a belief in a creator. I think, I even believe in Jesus. But everything else I gots serious doubts about. I don't believe a God would send down all these rules and thing concerning women, making them.....less. I believe the bible was written by men, not inspired by God, but to put forth their own agenda regarding women.
ok, I'll stop now. I'm about to go off on a rant about religion and I don't want to do that. But to finish the thought...I consider myself to be a Buddhist. I like the philosophy. It really says, just be responsible for your actions. Jesus pretty much said the same thing, but no one really listened. They still aren't...and human kind has had over 2000 years to wake up and smell the damn roses.
sheesh, there I go again, off on this tangent.
So, unless I actually believe someone has actually taken responsibilty for their actions, no forgiveness from me. I'm still waiting on Jimmy Swaggert to actually be sorry...along with some other well known sinners.
Bring the brass monkey in tonight....
'nuff said........
Monday, January 12, 2009
A new year has rolled around..
Its now 2009. A hundred years ago this country barely had indoor toilets...now look at us.
It might be a new year, but its still the same old, same old.
Yup, same shit, different year.
I wish I knew why am I so dissatisfied here lately. The cats are healthy, so no problem there. I have a little money....well, that hasn't really changed, I always have only a little money.
I know for a fact that I'll be moving soon. That could be it. I don't have that completely locked down yet. I don't like not knowing.
I'm also a wee bit tired of people on various sites that waste my time. "Help me do away with my nuts!". Talk to a squirrel I suggest. They know all about nuts.
"Make me a sissy". What...I'm going to grab my magic wand and make you wear a dress? What am I, the sissy fairy? Get outta here....
*************************************************************
Something new is happening..or maybe its nasty old business raising its ugly head again.
I don't think I wrote about that particular incident on here, but about a year ago, in Dec., some events happened that caused a big ole ruckus in the local bdsm community. Some officers of the board of one such group were removed.
Naturally, lines were drawn and people were divided. Who you stood with all depended on what facts you were privy too. Accusations were made: some true, some less than factual and people made their opinions known.
Well, to make a long story short...very short. I basically told a person she was fulla shit. I get a letter from her husband and he tells me I am not 'worth it'...and slaps me around in an email. Its good for a giggle because I know what they don't know. I called on her to make apologies to a couple of groups. He told me she didn't have to apologize for anything.
Well, turns out I was right....and yes, she did end up apologizing to some people...tho, not to me.
Now, these people are up for membership in a group I'm a part of. I'm not happy about that. I'm told I'm over reacting, but yanno, a hyena does not change its temperament. I will resign my membership if they are admitted. Ya, I know, its drama. But there are times when only drama will serve.
I see trouble ahead. Just call me Cassandra.
'nuff said
It might be a new year, but its still the same old, same old.
Yup, same shit, different year.
I wish I knew why am I so dissatisfied here lately. The cats are healthy, so no problem there. I have a little money....well, that hasn't really changed, I always have only a little money.
I know for a fact that I'll be moving soon. That could be it. I don't have that completely locked down yet. I don't like not knowing.
I'm also a wee bit tired of people on various sites that waste my time. "Help me do away with my nuts!". Talk to a squirrel I suggest. They know all about nuts.
"Make me a sissy". What...I'm going to grab my magic wand and make you wear a dress? What am I, the sissy fairy? Get outta here....
*************************************************************
Something new is happening..or maybe its nasty old business raising its ugly head again.
I don't think I wrote about that particular incident on here, but about a year ago, in Dec., some events happened that caused a big ole ruckus in the local bdsm community. Some officers of the board of one such group were removed.
Naturally, lines were drawn and people were divided. Who you stood with all depended on what facts you were privy too. Accusations were made: some true, some less than factual and people made their opinions known.
Well, to make a long story short...very short. I basically told a person she was fulla shit. I get a letter from her husband and he tells me I am not 'worth it'...and slaps me around in an email. Its good for a giggle because I know what they don't know. I called on her to make apologies to a couple of groups. He told me she didn't have to apologize for anything.
Well, turns out I was right....and yes, she did end up apologizing to some people...tho, not to me.
Now, these people are up for membership in a group I'm a part of. I'm not happy about that. I'm told I'm over reacting, but yanno, a hyena does not change its temperament. I will resign my membership if they are admitted. Ya, I know, its drama. But there are times when only drama will serve.
I see trouble ahead. Just call me Cassandra.
'nuff said
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Egads, the sun!...or why I should be named Casper
I do not like being out in the sun.
Its not like I need to. I was born with a natural tan of sorts. I find being out in the sun or doing anything during the daylight hours to be a drain. I guess I'm sorta like a vampire except I don't burst into flames or anything fatal.
Feels like it though. I was out today and the sun was beating down on my exposed skin and it burned. I feel charbroiled. I don't like being out in the sun.
When I see people who flock to the beaches and back yards to toast themselves I have to shake my head. It is like most things kink or vanilla: My kink is not your kink etc, etc.
I don't remember liking the sun that much as a kid either. I remember always hiding out on the shady part of the house.
Don't get me wrong. I don't mind the daylight. I like it fine. I just don't want to be out in it. It makes me so tired.
I like dawn...when the day is just starting, when the air is fresh and its quiet.....just some birds tweeting. Yes, the children of the morning......shut the fuk up!!!! I also like the twilight, when the day is done, the birds are quieter (cause the cats have made themselves useful and have stalked and killed them), the air is warm and nature is painting the sky with brilliant colours as the sun slowly sinks.
I love the night however. The night belongs to me and I welcome it like a lover. Shadows cover me like a blanket and the night air is like a caress upon my skin. It rejuvenates me. It is my morning and I greet it with a smile. It is my friend even when it is not so friendly.
Good lord, was I waxing poetically there?
I think it is finally time to pack the winter duds away. Its made up its mind to stay warm. Temperatures are now in the 80 and most of my neighbours are running their air conditioning.
What's the point? We bitched and whined all winter about it being cold and when it warms up we want to shiver. I'm gonna wait for the real egg cooking heat before I do the AC thing. I'm going to enjoy the warm so that I will remember it when the winter rolls around again. Besides, if I turn the air on, then the sun, when I have to go out in it, will just drain me more.
Right now, I am looking for a job where I can work evenings and not have to worry about going out in the sun that much. I can deal with mornings a bit. but not for long.
It does slightly piss me off that I am going to have to run the ac for when I have a scene with someone......
At least I'm not down south where its in the 90's. I think I'd melt.
Or burst into flames.....
How would I explain that to my friends?
Oh wait, I wouldn't have to. I'd be a crispy critter.
gads.......
'nuff said
Its not like I need to. I was born with a natural tan of sorts. I find being out in the sun or doing anything during the daylight hours to be a drain. I guess I'm sorta like a vampire except I don't burst into flames or anything fatal.
Feels like it though. I was out today and the sun was beating down on my exposed skin and it burned. I feel charbroiled. I don't like being out in the sun.
When I see people who flock to the beaches and back yards to toast themselves I have to shake my head. It is like most things kink or vanilla: My kink is not your kink etc, etc.
I don't remember liking the sun that much as a kid either. I remember always hiding out on the shady part of the house.
Don't get me wrong. I don't mind the daylight. I like it fine. I just don't want to be out in it. It makes me so tired.
I like dawn...when the day is just starting, when the air is fresh and its quiet.....just some birds tweeting. Yes, the children of the morning......shut the fuk up!!!! I also like the twilight, when the day is done, the birds are quieter (cause the cats have made themselves useful and have stalked and killed them), the air is warm and nature is painting the sky with brilliant colours as the sun slowly sinks.
I love the night however. The night belongs to me and I welcome it like a lover. Shadows cover me like a blanket and the night air is like a caress upon my skin. It rejuvenates me. It is my morning and I greet it with a smile. It is my friend even when it is not so friendly.
Good lord, was I waxing poetically there?
I think it is finally time to pack the winter duds away. Its made up its mind to stay warm. Temperatures are now in the 80 and most of my neighbours are running their air conditioning.
What's the point? We bitched and whined all winter about it being cold and when it warms up we want to shiver. I'm gonna wait for the real egg cooking heat before I do the AC thing. I'm going to enjoy the warm so that I will remember it when the winter rolls around again. Besides, if I turn the air on, then the sun, when I have to go out in it, will just drain me more.
Right now, I am looking for a job where I can work evenings and not have to worry about going out in the sun that much. I can deal with mornings a bit. but not for long.
It does slightly piss me off that I am going to have to run the ac for when I have a scene with someone......
At least I'm not down south where its in the 90's. I think I'd melt.
Or burst into flames.....
How would I explain that to my friends?
Oh wait, I wouldn't have to. I'd be a crispy critter.
gads.......
'nuff said
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Everything I learned about life, I learned on the play ground
I've seen and read people who believe that kindergarten thing...and how it helped to raise their awareness....blah blah. I've read the nice clean version. I've read how some of them were adapted for the kink community.
This is all well and good. I know these people mean well. They want us to play nice. They want to be all wise, all helpful, look really good in the community and have their ass smelling like gardenias. That is so not going to happen.
I didn't go to kindergarten. I went directly to 1st grade and had to deal with mixing it up on the playground. So, what I learned about life, I learned from 1st grade.
'nuff said
This is all well and good. I know these people mean well. They want us to play nice. They want to be all wise, all helpful, look really good in the community and have their ass smelling like gardenias. That is so not going to happen.
I didn't go to kindergarten. I went directly to 1st grade and had to deal with mixing it up on the playground. So, what I learned about life, I learned from 1st grade.
- It's scary when you are on your own. Helps to make friends quick.
- If you are stubborn enough, you may not get spanked. I was bad once (ok....bad several times.) It took two teachers to pull me out of my desk to get a spanking...which I didn't get because they decided to send a note home to my mother. I should have taken the spanking.
- Its not always wise to flout authority. Sometimes, you can get away with it. Sometimes it sends a note home to your mother.
- Share because you want to, not because you are told to. Expect problems from bullies, really whiny people, or sometimes, even an authority figure. Find new playmates or learn to be assertive. Do not run from authority. Do not become a bully.
- Don't use scissors to open a glue bottle. It only complicates things. Pay attention to instructions and you'll come out ok.
- If you make a mess, sometimes it's ok to ask for help in cleaning it up. Ask really, really nice and sometimes they'll clean it for you, but overall, it's better to not make a mess. But if you do make a mess, don't be afraid of it.
- Watch out for bullies. If you look weak or odd, different in anyway, you'll be picked on. You've got to be really clever and talk your way out of a confrontation, fight dirty or yell really loud. Sometimes having friends come in handy, especially if one of them knows how to open a can of whoop ass. Main thing is, is that you will have to deal with bullies.
- You are going to get dirty. How dirty depends entirely on you and who you are playing with. I've seen people who really, really wanted to stay clean, but instead were very good dirt magnets.
- Play nice. See above statement about dirt. You are going to have to play. Everyone plays unless they're special in some way. If you are reading this, then you aren't special.
- Always keep your eyes open. There's always something or someone new on the way. Sometimes it looks like the same things you've already seen, but the combinations are always new. Stay alert. Life gets easier if you know what's coming.
- Cussing doesn't help. At least not out loud. Sometimes it can impress, but the ones it impresses are not the ones you really should be hanging out with. But sometimes you gotta cuss, so keep it to yourself.
- If you slack off with the class work and get behind, it's awfully hard to work your way out of it. Lying about it makes it even worse if you are caught in it. You might not get to have a recess. Or you will have a note sent home to your mother.
- When playing with others, you don't always get what you want, but you have to deal with what ever you get. Every game ends and there is no use in crying about it.
- If you run, you will fall. Sometimes, even if you walk you'll fall down. Sometimes someone might trip you, sometimes you trip over your own shoe laces. Mostly, if you fall down when walking, its because you weren't looking where you were going. Keep your eyes open!
- The playground can be a big scary place. You can swallow your fear and go out and try to enjoy it or you can find a spot somewhere and just watch it go on by, but you'll miss a lot of fun.
'nuff said
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tops that need to bottom and the tops that hate that. & a little rant too
For the longest time the leather culture has used a mentoring process for advancement. I have seldom heard or read where someone just jumped into the scene as a top. What I have read, is that all or most tops were bottoms, the length of time serving being determined only by their top and the bottom's ability to learn and adapt.
I belong to a group who's leadership looks down or askance at those tops who have bottomed. They loudly proclaim that they will never kneel to anyone. They have no idea of what a bottom feels and their minds are closed to knowing.
I need to correct myself. SOME of the leadership looks down at those who have bottomed and is now in a leadership position. It is like they expect that person to fall back into a sub or bottom mode at any given moment.
Fer fucks sake.....you lot are hand in hand with the leather community! A great many of you are part of a national leather group. How can you justify that view of those who have bottomed!!??? All of the well known leather folk in the country have bottomed and may still do so. They write book and more books on the need to start at the bottom so that one becomes a better top.
But, in all fairness, they do not proclaim to be leather folk....though they wear the vests, the leathers chaps and a cover. I look at this and I jjust shake my head. What are they afraid of? Do they think they know it all? Do they understand what a sub or bottom feels?
No. They ain't got the least damn idea of what it feels like to submit. I think they are afraid they might like it. They might worry that they are going to lose dom points or something. Femdoms don't like to because there is a tiny nagging fear that they might not be able to regain that control....and lose what status they have gained. Some worry that they might like it too much as well. It is the rare person that can accept another's dominance over them. I used to see it in all those silly arse romance books I used to like.
C'mon.......romance books are great for a laugh. Helpless women, strong dominant women. Vanilla chicks just love that! As escapism reading! All those men in the books are very much dominant alpha males with stiff necks, never kneeling....always in control even as the violence of his love/hate for the woman unfolds. Only she can bend his stiff neck and bring him to his knees. What tripe...but also what a training ground.
Anyway, its is written and generally acknowledged in the leather community that everyone starts at the bottom...that it will help make a great master. In other communities, anyone can just show up and deem himself a master, untried, untested....and in my humble opinion....unsafe. Lord Sir Master High Mucky Muck, a self proclaimed master with what little knowledge he has gleamed from porn sites and various bdsm websites full of touchy feely crap, decides that he knows it all. Stuff many of us have spent years learning about and are still learning other things, this idiot is out there telling everyone who will listen to him that he knows it all and we should all bow to his wide hairy ass.
We, as a community should kick it all the way back to the hole s/he climbed out of. I'm sure the leather folk, if s/he had the nads to go to one of their club would have knocked him/her down and peed on him/her. The general bdsm community just smiles and lets him/her wade in and do whatever harm s/he can do. You can't really blame the idiot. S/He had no clue. We just clean up after him or her.
With that said, that is mostly how I came into being. In 1981 I answered an ad in a local paper that served the alternative community in Tampa, Florida. This person and his wife were looking for a service slave. I answered this man, met him in a McDonald's (I think) and served a period of some 3 months. I enjoyed most of my time serving. My limits were sexual service and disfigurement. Other than that, I had to trust him and her. Sometimes I would make mistakes and was punished. It wasn't erotic or anything like we see now. It fucking hurt...and I'd cry and vow never to repeat that mistake. Usually I didn't. I watched and I listened and I obeyed. I learned to be a servant and I like it. I was useful.....and that is what I think is missing so much these days. Thanks to the net, all anyone sees if people being pounded on. Its a big part of why I have narrowed my interests to English style corporal punishment and domination.
At the end of my time in their service, I decided that it would not do for me to keep this up. I liked them fine, but I was having more and more issues with complete submission. That's not a pleasing trait in a slave. So I left. I struck out on my own and would answer ads for subs or bottoms looking for someone to beat them. I had a huge interest in punishment.
Long story short, I evolved. I found that more and more I disliked bondage and that I had a very deep sadistic side. I can tell you that my sadistic side was never of a sexual nature. It was like a hobby. I inflict pain for the pure pleasure of the gasp or moan...or scream. It improved my body language skills....and just my skills in general. Canes are still a major love though. It comes from my love of the English and the Victorian/Edwardian periods.
I'm drifting from my tirade about tops that never bottomed.
You will find that those who take their guidelines from a series of book about a fantasy book for men have the stiffest necks and least tolerant view of bottoming of all in this life. Some, are open minded. Many are not. I ain't gonna say anymore on that. I think I may have made my view on that way back in my archives.
I think, that we, as a community need to keep tabs on those dominants that spring fully formed from the pages on the web. Dumbinants? *snicker*
That's my view, right or wrong.....
'nuff said
I belong to a group who's leadership looks down or askance at those tops who have bottomed. They loudly proclaim that they will never kneel to anyone. They have no idea of what a bottom feels and their minds are closed to knowing.
I need to correct myself. SOME of the leadership looks down at those who have bottomed and is now in a leadership position. It is like they expect that person to fall back into a sub or bottom mode at any given moment.
Fer fucks sake.....you lot are hand in hand with the leather community! A great many of you are part of a national leather group. How can you justify that view of those who have bottomed!!??? All of the well known leather folk in the country have bottomed and may still do so. They write book and more books on the need to start at the bottom so that one becomes a better top.
But, in all fairness, they do not proclaim to be leather folk....though they wear the vests, the leathers chaps and a cover. I look at this and I jjust shake my head. What are they afraid of? Do they think they know it all? Do they understand what a sub or bottom feels?
No. They ain't got the least damn idea of what it feels like to submit. I think they are afraid they might like it. They might worry that they are going to lose dom points or something. Femdoms don't like to because there is a tiny nagging fear that they might not be able to regain that control....and lose what status they have gained. Some worry that they might like it too much as well. It is the rare person that can accept another's dominance over them. I used to see it in all those silly arse romance books I used to like.
C'mon.......romance books are great for a laugh. Helpless women, strong dominant women. Vanilla chicks just love that! As escapism reading! All those men in the books are very much dominant alpha males with stiff necks, never kneeling....always in control even as the violence of his love/hate for the woman unfolds. Only she can bend his stiff neck and bring him to his knees. What tripe...but also what a training ground.
Anyway, its is written and generally acknowledged in the leather community that everyone starts at the bottom...that it will help make a great master. In other communities, anyone can just show up and deem himself a master, untried, untested....and in my humble opinion....unsafe. Lord Sir Master High Mucky Muck, a self proclaimed master with what little knowledge he has gleamed from porn sites and various bdsm websites full of touchy feely crap, decides that he knows it all. Stuff many of us have spent years learning about and are still learning other things, this idiot is out there telling everyone who will listen to him that he knows it all and we should all bow to his wide hairy ass.
We, as a community should kick it all the way back to the hole s/he climbed out of. I'm sure the leather folk, if s/he had the nads to go to one of their club would have knocked him/her down and peed on him/her. The general bdsm community just smiles and lets him/her wade in and do whatever harm s/he can do. You can't really blame the idiot. S/He had no clue. We just clean up after him or her.
With that said, that is mostly how I came into being. In 1981 I answered an ad in a local paper that served the alternative community in Tampa, Florida. This person and his wife were looking for a service slave. I answered this man, met him in a McDonald's (I think) and served a period of some 3 months. I enjoyed most of my time serving. My limits were sexual service and disfigurement. Other than that, I had to trust him and her. Sometimes I would make mistakes and was punished. It wasn't erotic or anything like we see now. It fucking hurt...and I'd cry and vow never to repeat that mistake. Usually I didn't. I watched and I listened and I obeyed. I learned to be a servant and I like it. I was useful.....and that is what I think is missing so much these days. Thanks to the net, all anyone sees if people being pounded on. Its a big part of why I have narrowed my interests to English style corporal punishment and domination.
At the end of my time in their service, I decided that it would not do for me to keep this up. I liked them fine, but I was having more and more issues with complete submission. That's not a pleasing trait in a slave. So I left. I struck out on my own and would answer ads for subs or bottoms looking for someone to beat them. I had a huge interest in punishment.
Long story short, I evolved. I found that more and more I disliked bondage and that I had a very deep sadistic side. I can tell you that my sadistic side was never of a sexual nature. It was like a hobby. I inflict pain for the pure pleasure of the gasp or moan...or scream. It improved my body language skills....and just my skills in general. Canes are still a major love though. It comes from my love of the English and the Victorian/Edwardian periods.
I'm drifting from my tirade about tops that never bottomed.
You will find that those who take their guidelines from a series of book about a fantasy book for men have the stiffest necks and least tolerant view of bottoming of all in this life. Some, are open minded. Many are not. I ain't gonna say anymore on that. I think I may have made my view on that way back in my archives.
I think, that we, as a community need to keep tabs on those dominants that spring fully formed from the pages on the web. Dumbinants? *snicker*
That's my view, right or wrong.....
'nuff said
Friday, November 23, 2007
What's it all about subbie?
The most common thing I have ever noticed is that most everyone seems to think that being 'in the lifestyle' means that one must know how to take a beating.
This simply isn't true.
What is true, is that one must be willing to accept punishment.
"But, but.....", you stutter, "Why is that the only thing we ever see in regards to this?" Well, it is certainly the most attention grabbing that's for sure. Most every website you go to will be all about various means of making you squirm in discomfort, especially if you are aroused by subbies being forced to provide sexual stimulation to their master or mistress. Actually, most people are attracted to the sexual aspect of it. I turn down and am turned down by people who expect me to punish them by some sort of sexual turn on. I don't think so.
The exceptions are mostly for forced feminization. Sissy training usually involves more humiliation than actual beatings. There are, of course, exceptions to this, indeed, with most everything I have stated thus far. But, if stated them, this blog would end up as long as the web itself.
Most people overlook service training.
"Huh?", you say.
Don't grunt, it's not nice. Service training is so much more involved. You need actual intelligence to know how to go into such training. Any one can be beaten. Not everyone can go into service. For that, you need your wits around you. You need to know etiquette. You need to know time management. And, you need patience...and in most cases you get to keep somewhat dressed.
It's been written, in a book of bdsm erotica, that the hardest thing for a slave to learn is patience. This is true for most of us in general. It is often overlooked by many. We are a 'right the fuck now' culture. Its like we expect our slaves/subs/bottoms to know what we are thinking or what to expect even when we know they know absolutely nothing. It seems we expect them to absorb it by divine touch when they decide they want to explore bdsm.
"Get to the punishment part already! That's hot!"
One of the first rules of thumb for a dominant should be that they need to have control over themselves before they attempt to exert control over another. They should never hit someone when they are angry. They should never hit their sub when under the influence of something mind altering. They should never touch anyone when they are ill or the s/s/b is ill. This is all common sense people. But common sense isn't very common at times. Have control over yourself first before taking control of someone else. Don't make me come after you.
So again...service is often overlooked by people because its not as flashing as being able to show off your flogging skills or whip skills or any other skills you might have. But a properly train service s/s/b will be there to take your coat, fetch your drink, rub your shoulders/feet/etc and is 100 times more valuable than the body on a cross.
And you get to punish them if they mess up.
"YES!", you shout, "Punishment!!! yes!"
You ingrate, why should I waste my time trying to teach you anything useful..........
Punishment or the threat of it is essential in the training of a service s/s/b. C'mon, think about it. If it were a paying job, and if any of you are in the service industry (you should know this) fail at the job and you are punished maybe by being sacked or demoted or pay cut. Its no less painful than if your boss took a cane to you. Maybe worse if you are a sensitive sort of person or if you really need that paycheck..... You need to know that failing in your service to whomever could result in some sort of dire punishment.
"But you beat people," you say, "You have a list of bad boys that you punish".
Of course I do. They are bad and I punish them for what they have done wrong. Its a dirty job (maybe I should call that hunk from the tv show "Dirty Jobs"....) and someone has to do it. Why shouldn't that person be me?
'nuff said
This simply isn't true.
What is true, is that one must be willing to accept punishment.
"But, but.....", you stutter, "Why is that the only thing we ever see in regards to this?" Well, it is certainly the most attention grabbing that's for sure. Most every website you go to will be all about various means of making you squirm in discomfort, especially if you are aroused by subbies being forced to provide sexual stimulation to their master or mistress. Actually, most people are attracted to the sexual aspect of it. I turn down and am turned down by people who expect me to punish them by some sort of sexual turn on. I don't think so.
The exceptions are mostly for forced feminization. Sissy training usually involves more humiliation than actual beatings. There are, of course, exceptions to this, indeed, with most everything I have stated thus far. But, if stated them, this blog would end up as long as the web itself.
Most people overlook service training.
"Huh?", you say.
Don't grunt, it's not nice. Service training is so much more involved. You need actual intelligence to know how to go into such training. Any one can be beaten. Not everyone can go into service. For that, you need your wits around you. You need to know etiquette. You need to know time management. And, you need patience...and in most cases you get to keep somewhat dressed.
It's been written, in a book of bdsm erotica, that the hardest thing for a slave to learn is patience. This is true for most of us in general. It is often overlooked by many. We are a 'right the fuck now' culture. Its like we expect our slaves/subs/bottoms to know what we are thinking or what to expect even when we know they know absolutely nothing. It seems we expect them to absorb it by divine touch when they decide they want to explore bdsm.
"Get to the punishment part already! That's hot!"
One of the first rules of thumb for a dominant should be that they need to have control over themselves before they attempt to exert control over another. They should never hit someone when they are angry. They should never hit their sub when under the influence of something mind altering. They should never touch anyone when they are ill or the s/s/b is ill. This is all common sense people. But common sense isn't very common at times. Have control over yourself first before taking control of someone else. Don't make me come after you.
So again...service is often overlooked by people because its not as flashing as being able to show off your flogging skills or whip skills or any other skills you might have. But a properly train service s/s/b will be there to take your coat, fetch your drink, rub your shoulders/feet/etc and is 100 times more valuable than the body on a cross.
And you get to punish them if they mess up.
"YES!", you shout, "Punishment!!! yes!"
You ingrate, why should I waste my time trying to teach you anything useful..........
Punishment or the threat of it is essential in the training of a service s/s/b. C'mon, think about it. If it were a paying job, and if any of you are in the service industry (you should know this) fail at the job and you are punished maybe by being sacked or demoted or pay cut. Its no less painful than if your boss took a cane to you. Maybe worse if you are a sensitive sort of person or if you really need that paycheck..... You need to know that failing in your service to whomever could result in some sort of dire punishment.
"But you beat people," you say, "You have a list of bad boys that you punish".
Of course I do. They are bad and I punish them for what they have done wrong. Its a dirty job (maybe I should call that hunk from the tv show "Dirty Jobs"....) and someone has to do it. Why shouldn't that person be me?
'nuff said
Saturday, November 17, 2007
The romance of it all..........
I am, I must confess, a romantic.
I try to hide it, make jokes, behave immaturely, but deep down in my soul I get all misty eyed and sigh alot.
Case in point. There is this little movie with J.Lo and Richard Gere called, "Shall We Dance?" At the end of the movie, there is this song playing "book of love" and Gere comes up an escalator in a tux carrying a single red rose. He and his wife talk a couple of moments and he asks her to dance with him. Then they do.....slowly and gently. Her 2 assistants look on and are also lost in the romance of the moment.
*sigh* I can't dance but wouldn't it be so romantic to just be held and just sway to the music in the soul?
THEN.......I got a new book...where one of the most romantic thing I've ever read (except for some poetry written for me) just made me cry.
It is the new book by L. K. Hamilton, "A Lick of Frost". In it, Merry and Frost are in bed talking. He tells her of how he came to being and the one woman he loved before her. He was married to her and because he is immortal and she was not, he had to watch her age. He said that her love had made him real.
He loves Merry with a great fierceness...so he told her that story. Then Hamilton writes:
I just sat there after I read that and boo hooed. If I were ever to marry someone, I want to say those words to him....or I rather he said those words to me. I can't ever imagine someone saying anything like that to me and MEANING it. At this time, I can't imagine ever saying that to someone and meaning it. But hope springs eternal and who knows.
I love romance. I am in love with being in love. I just wish I weren't such an emotional cripple with it. I am however, thanks to a dear friend able to live with someone without being quite so freaked out about it. It took me a year to relax actually, but afterwards, once I did, it started to feel very natural. I know that one day, I'd like to have a home of my own. I won't worry so much about what I'm going to do with my cat then. He needs to be settled....and he needs to be an only cat again.
Ok, I'll shut up about Jack already....sheesh.
'Home, home of my own, where the 'boys' and the kittycats all roam.....' Wha? I'm dreaming out loud.......gosh.
'nuff said
I try to hide it, make jokes, behave immaturely, but deep down in my soul I get all misty eyed and sigh alot.
Case in point. There is this little movie with J.Lo and Richard Gere called, "Shall We Dance?" At the end of the movie, there is this song playing "book of love" and Gere comes up an escalator in a tux carrying a single red rose. He and his wife talk a couple of moments and he asks her to dance with him. Then they do.....slowly and gently. Her 2 assistants look on and are also lost in the romance of the moment.
*sigh* I can't dance but wouldn't it be so romantic to just be held and just sway to the music in the soul?
THEN.......I got a new book...where one of the most romantic thing I've ever read (except for some poetry written for me) just made me cry.
It is the new book by L. K. Hamilton, "A Lick of Frost". In it, Merry and Frost are in bed talking. He tells her of how he came to being and the one woman he loved before her. He was married to her and because he is immortal and she was not, he had to watch her age. He said that her love had made him real.
He loves Merry with a great fierceness...so he told her that story. Then Hamilton writes:
He came to his knees and put his hands on my armsn, and stared down into my face. "I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replace by the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face, I will tresure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you, Meredith, and I will love you unitl the last breath leaves your body or mine.
I just sat there after I read that and boo hooed. If I were ever to marry someone, I want to say those words to him....or I rather he said those words to me. I can't ever imagine someone saying anything like that to me and MEANING it. At this time, I can't imagine ever saying that to someone and meaning it. But hope springs eternal and who knows.
I love romance. I am in love with being in love. I just wish I weren't such an emotional cripple with it. I am however, thanks to a dear friend able to live with someone without being quite so freaked out about it. It took me a year to relax actually, but afterwards, once I did, it started to feel very natural. I know that one day, I'd like to have a home of my own. I won't worry so much about what I'm going to do with my cat then. He needs to be settled....and he needs to be an only cat again.
Ok, I'll shut up about Jack already....sheesh.
'Home, home of my own, where the 'boys' and the kittycats all roam.....' Wha? I'm dreaming out loud.......gosh.
'nuff said
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