Monday, September 18, 2006

Body language

I haven't addressed anything 'lifestyle' related in quite a while. I'm way over due.

In talking with a buddy about mentoring, the conversation shifted around until we got to something that is near and dear to me.

Body language.

I am a Dominant. I have several profiles out in various places and I get the occasion email from people who want to meet for my brand of dominance which is Domination and Corporal Punishment. What I tell them in the profile and on the phone or email is that I don't see anyone without first meeting somewhere public and in a very vanilla setting.

Then, I ask them questions about theirselves, health, lifestyle questions and I watch them closely to notice small or large changes in their body language. I also notice how they answer, if they give it thought or just spit it out of if they are watching me to gage how to best please with with their answer. I have a great poker face for the interview process....smiling and nodding when appropriate, etc.

But, I watch them. I watch to see if mouth and body are in synch. It is useful to know if they are trying to trying to pull something over on me in some way. Something in the way they move can clue you into exactly what they are thinking...or feeling.

I talked with a sub once who told me that he was interested in this and that, was curious about this and that and wanted to try this and that. This and that in once part pertained to anal play.
He was sitting there with his bare face hanging out telling me, 'yes yes, this was something he wanted very much to do'. His body on the other hand, just folded up on himself. He totally shut himself off from me. I remarked on this and he was embarassed a bit and came clean. He wasn't ready for any of this and soon afterwards he left. I have not seen or heard from him since.

There are many places on the web to look for clues in how to read body language. Remember it is not always going to be the same for everyone, but some basics will be similiar. Reading someone is a developed talent. By developed, I mean you got to work with developing the skill every day. Test yourself, observe others. Read up on it, study. It will make you a better dominant.

Did I say that?

Oh yes, part of what we do in play or in ordinary living is to observe our partners. Don't listen with just your ears, listen with your eyes. Watch them, focus on how they breath, watch their skin, observe everything about them. If they aren't doing something they way their should, work with them gently on it. Example: breathing. We do it automatically yes, but sometimes during a scene the sub may hold their breath...or they may be gasping. In though the nose, out though the mouth. Or if they are holding their breath for something...like you are about to pull off the zipper you should know by then if holding their breath is something they should do or not. For some it heightens a sensation, for others, it makes no difference. But, I firmly believe, and yer free to tell me I'm wrong, that working with some to learn to take deep breaths correctly can only help them. And, watch them closely, you may learn something new.

In working with their breathing, it can work to your advantage in that you can make it sensual. Hold them close, front or back, match your breathing to theirs....maybe heartbeats also match. Breath as one, exhale as one, be one.

Try it, I dare you.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Master Jack's new toy....


Mr Fish is going to need therapy.

Lots of it.

Imagine looking at that everytime you look up.

*shudders*

Fish don't have eyelids they can keep shut either. Sucks to be a fish I should think.

Ok, maybe you think I am guilty of cruelty of some sort to fishes.

Tough.

Jack, is home by himself all day long. I don't spend every waking moment with him when I am here.....mostly yelling at him to get off this, stay off that....and stop doing what ever it is he's doing that he shouldn't be doing.

My gawd, I have a little furry child...

Can a fish die of fright?