Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Perverse vs kink...or just plain wrong?

I had a question today following something I had been discussing with someone earlier online.
I was trying to understand about the 'daddy/little' kink.  Personally, I find it a little disturbing, but I try to keep an open mind. After all, it is between consenting adult, emphasis on adult.
The question I just put to a friend, was
"do you ever wonder if what you feel or want is perverse rather than kinky? Do you think there is a difference between the 2? Would the difference be between different view points of let's say....a 'normal' type person and the kink community? And then, even within the kink community, when does something stop being merely kink and become perverse?"
I asked because after the discussion I had earlier in the day with some, stirred up some odd feelings.  The truth being, I don't know if I find this kinky or if I should find this just plain wrong.

A little soul baring might be in order here.  Way back in the '60's, when I was 10 years old, I was told to come in a room, take off my pants/shorts and lie back on the bed.  I'm 10 years old.  I obey.  I was told to relax, I wasn't going to be hurt.  So I laid there, not really afraid but very...confused.  I didn't have a choice.  Nothing was in my control, but when you are a kid, very little ever is.
I essentially was given a massage...for lack of a better word and a bit of a hazy memory.  It was a hot day, no air except a fan, I remember that.  I simply laid there and was caressed.   There was these large hands rubbing my legs, inside of my thighs, just always teasing the v section of my legs.  I remember a voice asking me if it felt good and if I liked it and I remember saying that I needed to go.  The voice would then tell me in a little bit I could go, but right now I should just lie back and relax.

There is the beginning of my having to be in control all the time.
It is also why I like big hands and big men.   Is this sick? Disturbing? Yes and yes....but has made me who I am...and I like that person.
'nuff said.