Thursday, June 10, 2010

Humiliation: Good idea? Bad idea?

I've been asked about my view on using humiliation as a bdsm tool. Personally, I can't see doing it, not as a part of how I do things. Let's take a look at it: humiliation is the tearing down of someone's self esteem.

What useful propose does it serve? All I see at first is the use of humiliation to build up one's self by tearing down someone else's self esteem.

That's just wrong in my opinion. I may as well shout to the world that I see myself as worthless and must destroy others to make myself look better. As a dominant...I see that as having no control in my personal life. If that is something I'd have to do to make myself seem....'more' then well, that's a rather significant flaw I think. Its something that would cross over into vanilla life. I'd be rude to people I see as insignificant.

I've seen this sort of behaviour in the vanilla world much too often. I'm sure you've seen it too. We see it in tv shows, news reports and while standing in line at the check-out counter. We see it with parents, with children and with people in authority. Do we need it in kink also?

Some people think so. I get requests for it a lot. "Humiliate me Mistress". It may be a genuine need. I simply can't see myself doing it. I don't need to build myself up. I'm comfortable with whom and what I am. It maybe be that I could humiliate someone but my fear is that I'd tear them down and give them nothing in return except fear.

Not that fear is a bad thing mind you....but I like creating fear in another way entirely.

So, humiliation is a limit for me.

'nuff said!