memories...

I used to have a cousin.

Yah, I know, most of us do. But this one was different. When I was younger, he was one of the many cousins I had that actually liked me. See, I was different. I wasn't blood related to any of them being 'adopted' and all.
This cousin's name was Bobby. Bobby was gay. We used to hang out together and he'd take me to these clubs down on Gillespie St. in Fayetteville, NC. He'd come over, I'd put him in make-up and I'd dress all butch and off we'd go. It was the most fun I can remember having during that rather dark period of life. I almost got married during that time....a bit different time then. I'd been married to someone I'd known since childhood and had taken to bed...but that's a different story.
Anyway, Bobby and I had a lot of fun then. He was the only cousin I had that accepted me just as I was. Warts and all (no, I didn't actually have warts...) could it have been because Bobby was gay and was unaccepted by even his own family? Possibly. His father once asked me to 'make him a man'...the implication that I have sex with Bobby. Like this would make Bobby a man. But, well, Bobby and I did do some fooling around and I have to say....he could do things to my ears that well....when he was done, I near about lost it. In all my years since, I've never met anyone since who came close to being able to match that. But we never did sleep together and Bobby told me that he had in fact, had sex with a girl. He much preferred to have sex with men thank you! I didn't have a problem with it. I don't understand why others do.
Anyway, I moved away and I heard later that Bobby joined the army. I had to laugh. That was really putting the fox in with the hens. He did ok. Finished his time without being found out or discharged.
Then, some time in the late 80's or early 90's I hear that Bobby is dead. According to my late mother, he 'died of the AIDS'. He died alone. No family. Well, I assume he died alone, I do imagine he would have had some friends but, no family. My mother had liked him, but not enough to put herself out for him. I know she said that none of the family went to see him, but I think some of them went to the memorial. I think all AIDS deaths were cremated.
Bobby was such a whore. He said so himself. He loved men and he loved sex with men. I think there would have been no one person that was special. I don't know if that was what he was looking for. I remember he was in love so often. He could never decide on just one, so there was the many. I shudder to think of how many he may have actually infected before he was diagnosed. It would have upset him.

I miss my cousin Bobby. He was sweet, cute and had a wonderful lively smile. I'd like to think that we would have kept in touch somehow. It would have been easier now days, with computers and all, but I was moving around so much at that time that well.....I hate to write...and by the time I would have received a reply, I may have been in another state.

AIDS.

'nuff said