I try to hide it, make jokes, behave immaturely, but deep down in my soul I get all misty eyed and sigh alot.
Case in point. There is this little movie with J.Lo and Richard Gere called, "Shall We Dance?" At the end of the movie, there is this song playing "book of love" and Gere comes up an escalator in a tux carrying a single red rose. He and his wife talk a couple of moments and he asks her to dance with him. Then they do.....slowly and gently. Her 2 assistants look on and are also lost in the romance of the moment.
*sigh* I can't dance but wouldn't it be so romantic to just be held and just sway to the music in the soul?
THEN.......I got a new book...where one of the most romantic thing I've ever read (except for some poetry written for me) just made me cry.
It is the new book by L. K. Hamilton, "A Lick of Frost". In it, Merry and Frost are in bed talking. He tells her of how he came to being and the one woman he loved before her. He was married to her and because he is immortal and she was not, he had to watch her age. He said that her love had made him real.
He loves Merry with a great fierceness...so he told her that story. Then Hamilton writes:
He came to his knees and put his hands on my armsn, and stared down into my face. "I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love you. When the smooth softness of youth is replace by the delicate softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have ever cried has left its mark upon your face, I will tresure you all the more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with you, Meredith, and I will love you unitl the last breath leaves your body or mine.
I just sat there after I read that and boo hooed. If I were ever to marry someone, I want to say those words to him....or I rather he said those words to me. I can't ever imagine someone saying anything like that to me and MEANING it. At this time, I can't imagine ever saying that to someone and meaning it. But hope springs eternal and who knows.
I love romance. I am in love with being in love. I just wish I weren't such an emotional cripple with it. I am however, thanks to a dear friend able to live with someone without being quite so freaked out about it. It took me a year to relax actually, but afterwards, once I did, it started to feel very natural. I know that one day, I'd like to have a home of my own. I won't worry so much about what I'm going to do with my cat then. He needs to be settled....and he needs to be an only cat again.
Ok, I'll shut up about Jack already....sheesh.
'Home, home of my own, where the 'boys' and the kittycats all roam.....' Wha? I'm dreaming out loud.......gosh.
'nuff said
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