Tops that need to bottom and the tops that hate that. & a little rant too

For the longest time the leather culture has used a mentoring process for advancement. I have seldom heard or read where someone just jumped into the scene as a top. What I have read, is that all or most tops were bottoms, the length of time serving being determined only by their top and the bottom's ability to learn and adapt.

I belong to a group who's leadership looks down or askance at those tops who have bottomed. They loudly proclaim that they will never kneel to anyone. They have no idea of what a bottom feels and their minds are closed to knowing.

I need to correct myself. SOME of the leadership looks down at those who have bottomed and is now in a leadership position. It is like they expect that person to fall back into a sub or bottom mode at any given moment.

Fer fucks sake.....you lot are hand in hand with the leather community! A great many of you are part of a national leather group. How can you justify that view of those who have bottomed!!??? All of the well known leather folk in the country have bottomed and may still do so. They write book and more books on the need to start at the bottom so that one becomes a better top.

But, in all fairness, they do not proclaim to be leather folk....though they wear the vests, the leathers chaps and a cover. I look at this and I jjust shake my head. What are they afraid of? Do they think they know it all? Do they understand what a sub or bottom feels?

No. They ain't got the least damn idea of what it feels like to submit. I think they are afraid they might like it. They might worry that they are going to lose dom points or something. Femdoms don't like to because there is a tiny nagging fear that they might not be able to regain that control....and lose what status they have gained. Some worry that they might like it too much as well. It is the rare person that can accept another's dominance over them. I used to see it in all those silly arse romance books I used to like.

C'mon.......romance books are great for a laugh. Helpless women, strong dominant women. Vanilla chicks just love that! As escapism reading! All those men in the books are very much dominant alpha males with stiff necks, never kneeling....always in control even as the violence of his love/hate for the woman unfolds. Only she can bend his stiff neck and bring him to his knees. What tripe...but also what a training ground.

Anyway, its is written and generally acknowledged in the leather community that everyone starts at the bottom...that it will help make a great master. In other communities, anyone can just show up and deem himself a master, untried, untested....and in my humble opinion....unsafe. Lord Sir Master High Mucky Muck, a self proclaimed master with what little knowledge he has gleamed from porn sites and various bdsm websites full of touchy feely crap, decides that he knows it all. Stuff many of us have spent years learning about and are still learning other things, this idiot is out there telling everyone who will listen to him that he knows it all and we should all bow to his wide hairy ass.

We, as a community should kick it all the way back to the hole s/he climbed out of. I'm sure the leather folk, if s/he had the nads to go to one of their club would have knocked him/her down and peed on him/her. The general bdsm community just smiles and lets him/her wade in and do whatever harm s/he can do. You can't really blame the idiot. S/He had no clue. We just clean up after him or her.

With that said, that is mostly how I came into being. In 1981 I answered an ad in a local paper that served the alternative community in Tampa, Florida. This person and his wife were looking for a service slave. I answered this man, met him in a McDonald's (I think) and served a period of some 3 months. I enjoyed most of my time serving. My limits were sexual service and disfigurement. Other than that, I had to trust him and her. Sometimes I would make mistakes and was punished. It wasn't erotic or anything like we see now. It fucking hurt...and I'd cry and vow never to repeat that mistake. Usually I didn't. I watched and I listened and I obeyed. I learned to be a servant and I like it. I was useful.....and that is what I think is missing so much these days. Thanks to the net, all anyone sees if people being pounded on. Its a big part of why I have narrowed my interests to English style corporal punishment and domination.

At the end of my time in their service, I decided that it would not do for me to keep this up. I liked them fine, but I was having more and more issues with complete submission. That's not a pleasing trait in a slave. So I left. I struck out on my own and would answer ads for subs or bottoms looking for someone to beat them. I had a huge interest in punishment.

Long story short, I evolved. I found that more and more I disliked bondage and that I had a very deep sadistic side. I can tell you that my sadistic side was never of a sexual nature. It was like a hobby. I inflict pain for the pure pleasure of the gasp or moan...or scream. It improved my body language skills....and just my skills in general. Canes are still a major love though. It comes from my love of the English and the Victorian/Edwardian periods.

I'm drifting from my tirade about tops that never bottomed.

You will find that those who take their guidelines from a series of book about a fantasy book for men have the stiffest necks and least tolerant view of bottoming of all in this life. Some, are open minded. Many are not. I ain't gonna say anymore on that. I think I may have made my view on that way back in my archives.

I think, that we, as a community need to keep tabs on those dominants that spring fully formed from the pages on the web. Dumbinants? *snicker*

That's my view, right or wrong.....

'nuff said