The Irish have a way of referring to someone that I find unique and something worth emulating. It is referring to that person as Himself or Herself. "How is Himself this evening?" You immediately know that they are referring to someone they highly consider.
The reason I consider this worth something is that no one would be using that stupid phrase "my Sir/Ma'am" anymore. That is, if I could be influential in anyway. "girl, where is your Sir/Ma'am/Dominant/Master/Mistress at?" "Himself/Herself is having a cigarette with the others." While it may not be .... grammatically correct, it does have a certain 'air' about it. It would still sound better if they would refer to their dominant by his or her name rather than by a title. Less confusing.
I do not ever expect anyone to stop using that idiot phrase: my Sir/Ma'am, but wouldn't it be grand if they did?
'Course then, someone would be grousing about the use of Him/Herself.........
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Sunday, October 16, 2005
to dominant or not to dominate......
Are you a Dominate or Dominant?
How you spell it I think, determines if you are paying attention or simply don't know any damn better.
I have to admit that I used to use dominate. Spell check said it was ok....but that I needed to change the order of the words......ok.....now how did it want me to rearrange things?
Now, when I see people making the same damn mistake again and again.....AND again I want to slap them stupid.
Ooops, I'd be too late wouldn't I?
When you gently point out their mistake....and they say, "It doesn't matter. People know what I mean.", you want scream, "Yah idiot...they know you mean yer too stupid to know the difference!"
Sheesh.
I know, I know...I rant and rave about my sir, my ma'am and the stupid way it sounds and no one listened. I'll rant and rave about this and no one will listen.....
But they will know exactly what I think of them. Yup.
Dat's ok. They would be suprised at just how many people do agree with me. Now, I dunno if they agree with me because they think I'm going to whack them with my cane or that they recognized sound thinkin' when they hear it.
I'll tell ya....if you don't want to sound like yer a complete loser, remember this: You are a Dominant. What you do is dominate. I could go into verb, noun, blah blah but this is more simple: what you are, what you do.
I could give other rules, but simple usually works best.
________________________________
We had a birthday party for our Miss Pinky. What a blast! Something happened and I need time to digest it....so I can write about it later.
Oh, Jake got a new collar.....a spiked one. If I can get a decent picture of him wearing it I'll post it. Who ever heard of a camera shy cat?
How you spell it I think, determines if you are paying attention or simply don't know any damn better.
I have to admit that I used to use dominate. Spell check said it was ok....but that I needed to change the order of the words......ok.....now how did it want me to rearrange things?
Now, when I see people making the same damn mistake again and again.....AND again I want to slap them stupid.
Ooops, I'd be too late wouldn't I?
When you gently point out their mistake....and they say, "It doesn't matter. People know what I mean.", you want scream, "Yah idiot...they know you mean yer too stupid to know the difference!"
Sheesh.
I know, I know...I rant and rave about my sir, my ma'am and the stupid way it sounds and no one listened. I'll rant and rave about this and no one will listen.....
But they will know exactly what I think of them. Yup.
Dat's ok. They would be suprised at just how many people do agree with me. Now, I dunno if they agree with me because they think I'm going to whack them with my cane or that they recognized sound thinkin' when they hear it.
I'll tell ya....if you don't want to sound like yer a complete loser, remember this: You are a Dominant. What you do is dominate. I could go into verb, noun, blah blah but this is more simple: what you are, what you do.
I could give other rules, but simple usually works best.
________________________________
We had a birthday party for our Miss Pinky. What a blast! Something happened and I need time to digest it....so I can write about it later.
Oh, Jake got a new collar.....a spiked one. If I can get a decent picture of him wearing it I'll post it. Who ever heard of a camera shy cat?
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Religion is bad for society
I had to share this because after this past week it seems so.....right.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/printFriendly/0,,1-2-1798944-2,00.html
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/printFriendly/0,,1-2-1798944-2,00.html
Thursday, September 22, 2005
God was his co-pilot........
I walked into the house on Wed. evening to find a yahoo message blinking at me....
"hi. where are you? are you watching about the plane?"
'Oh hell....oh god, oh no... please.....' were my first thoughts. Had terrorist struck again? I asked the messenger for more info: "What plane"
He messaged back to say a plane was having trouble landing and it was all over CNN, MSNBC, Fox...etc and that it was completely fascinating.
Ghouls I thought......the newsies are waiting for it to crash....and we are all going to have to watch these people die.
But no one died.
What I and countless others saw was the finest flying I had ever seen in my entire life. God must have been his co-pilot because the landing was perfect.....just perfect! Rubber burning, tire parts burning away, then sparks flying all over.....you just had to wonder.
I sat there on the edge of the seat and prayed every bit of the way down for all those people...when it came to a stop.....I laughed, I clapped....I shouted 'YEA, THAT'S the way to do it!' and I gave a prayer of thanks to all responsible. If I did that from sitting here safe in my living room....how did the people on board there feel!?!
It was incredible and I was just emotionally exhausted. That pilot, that crew.....I'd fly with them any day and sleep knowing I didn't have to keep the plane up with my shere will power. They deserve a great deal of thanks from their boss.
phew!
"hi. where are you? are you watching about the plane?"
'Oh hell....oh god, oh no... please.....' were my first thoughts. Had terrorist struck again? I asked the messenger for more info: "What plane"
He messaged back to say a plane was having trouble landing and it was all over CNN, MSNBC, Fox...etc and that it was completely fascinating.
Ghouls I thought......the newsies are waiting for it to crash....and we are all going to have to watch these people die.
But no one died.
What I and countless others saw was the finest flying I had ever seen in my entire life. God must have been his co-pilot because the landing was perfect.....just perfect! Rubber burning, tire parts burning away, then sparks flying all over.....you just had to wonder.
I sat there on the edge of the seat and prayed every bit of the way down for all those people...when it came to a stop.....I laughed, I clapped....I shouted 'YEA, THAT'S the way to do it!' and I gave a prayer of thanks to all responsible. If I did that from sitting here safe in my living room....how did the people on board there feel!?!
It was incredible and I was just emotionally exhausted. That pilot, that crew.....I'd fly with them any day and sleep knowing I didn't have to keep the plane up with my shere will power. They deserve a great deal of thanks from their boss.
phew!
Friday, September 16, 2005
Indy Munch and the new rule....
I'm on the egroup for the Indy Munch. Sometimes I like to go there and meet old friends and new ones that come there because its inbetween where we live.
Not too long ago, they switched hostesses. She's got this new rule and apparently, she's the only one who knows about it because when she mentioned it in a post and the penalty for breaking it........goodness, what a mess. A number of people have stated they have no intentions of ever going back, coming to, or having anything more to do with the munch. And rightly so. I was offended to.
Its taken a number of days but I finally wrote the new hostess and asked "WTF"? Well, not in those letters but in spirit.
This is what I wrote:
This is the progression of what was said......with some minor edits.
That certainly put some ruffled some feathers. Was certainly a rule I hadn't seen posted or anything. Its not even in the files on the munch egroup. If you hadn't mentioned this new rule how could we be expected to follow it even it was worded politely. Notice also that there is no mention of coming to ASK about speaking to vanillas.
Next post!
Now as we see, we have to notify you before we talk to a friend. Now, considering the way JJ's set up, how are we going to know they are there unless we have already walked out? I suppose we are to turn around and come back in and wait to be noticed before we notify her that we see our friend sitting out in the main part of the restaurant....right.
Yes'sum
ok....point one. if a patron/nilla asks what we are doing.....we send him or her back to the area where the munch is? Does anyone besides me see the logic in that....especially if there could be some that are a little bit worried about being 'outed' at all? Where is the respect for the munch patron's privacy?Also, I have yet to see a host/ess actually circulate amongst the guests at the munch. This is anywhere...not just Indy, but NIK, Kokomo, Anderson...and a some from way out of state.
Again, you state that you will assume one is up to no good. You all know what they say about assuming anything, yes?
The over all tone of this little missive is....almost, insulting. I frankly find it sarcastic and offensive...even though the beginning of it was humourous and promising.
Now, after all this time, I've pretty much made up my mind on the munch and the hostess, but the over all responses are entirely too interesting to just leave.
Now to the last response so far....
I want to know when this rule was mentioned to the munch group? Do we just absorb it via aura? How? Where and when did I miss this rule going into effect?
Somewhere back in all the posts, it was mentioned that some Dom and his buddies took it on themselves to try and recruit a tender young virgin. It was mentioned that this Dom still doesn't see what he did that was so wrong. GET rid of him if you want to nip it in the bud!
Why oh why, didn't someone hit him in the head with a 2x4? That is how you get the attention of a mule. Besides, if he's that damn stupid, you shouldn't want him in the group anyway and he should be BARRED from every coming to another one. No, he messed up and now those of us that like coming to the munch are bearing the brunt of it.
NIK or ALM had an issue with a dom that was inappropriately touching the wait staff. I would have bounced him out on his ass in a heartbeat. As I have heard, he's still allowed to attend area munches. No one wants to offend anyone so they do nothing.
I actually applaud the action of removing an offending person if they commit a trangression. ASSUMING they have committed a transgression without knowing anything, opens the way for abuse of this policy. What if someone comes up to you and says, "I saw so and so talking to some nilla out in the main dining room."
This is an assinine rule. Technically, I have no problem with it, since I don't really know anyone in Indy anyway so have no fears on that point. BUT, I'm known for just striking up conversations with people standing in grocery lines, bathroom lines...etc just to past the time.
I urge you to reconsider this rule. Make it a suggestion, word it differently, allow for friendliness. You have just changed the tone of the munch from friendly, to one of apprehension.
Not too long ago, they switched hostesses. She's got this new rule and apparently, she's the only one who knows about it because when she mentioned it in a post and the penalty for breaking it........goodness, what a mess. A number of people have stated they have no intentions of ever going back, coming to, or having anything more to do with the munch. And rightly so. I was offended to.
Its taken a number of days but I finally wrote the new hostess and asked "WTF"? Well, not in those letters but in spirit.
This is what I wrote:
This is the progression of what was said......with some minor edits.
Date: Wed Sep 14, 2005 10:08 am
Now a note on number three... At the IndianapolisMunch, you
will be kicked out and not allowed back forthe entire time I am hostess if you are caught talking to anyone outside of the munch (with the exception of restaurant staff, and you should really only be talking vanilla stuff or placing an order with them). There will be no warning, you will just be benned.
That certainly put some ruffled some feathers. Was certainly a rule I hadn't seen posted or anything. Its not even in the files on the munch egroup. If you hadn't mentioned this new rule how could we be expected to follow it even it was worded politely. Notice also that there is no mention of coming to ASK about speaking to vanillas.
Next post!
Date: Wed Sep 14, 2005 2:01 pm
Well, you see... We've had a problem in the past with members of the munch (and slosh) talking about BDSM to restaraunt patrons outside of the munch.
If you see a friend, I would suggest you come up to me and let me know that you're going to drop by their table to havea little chat. Because, if I see an attendee of the munch talking to someone outside of the munch (without warning), they will be banned as long as I am hostess... No questions asked.
-Isabella
Now as we see, we have to notify you before we talk to a friend. Now, considering the way JJ's set up, how are we going to know they are there unless we have already walked out? I suppose we are to turn around and come back in and wait to be noticed before we notify her that we see our friend sitting out in the main part of the restaurant....right.
Yes'sum
Date: Fri Sep 16, 2005 9:04 am
Hello all!
First, let me apologize. I freely admit that my communication via text sucks (I usually convey emotion/meaning through gesticulation, voice and facial expressions)! ;p That being said, feel free to engage me on the following topics in person:
When a patron asks what we are doing, please feel free to send them my way. While it might ruffle some feathers, I must ask that if you see someone you know (or care to compliment, in a non-sexual/sensual/inappropriate way, a patron ;p) that you come up to me beforehand, or afterwards and let me know. There is the possibility that if you don't let me know (either before or after) I will assume that you were engaging in inappropriate conversation and you will be banned.
So..... Do not engage patrons (outside of the munch) in BDSM related discussion.
And I'm not sure of any other way to put this so..... If you *do* engage patrons, outside of the munch, in BDSM/kink/fetish/inappropriate discourse you will be banned for as long as I am the hostess. I am doing this to protect the majority of munch attendees (you know, the ones with the common sense! :D) from losing another munch venue. I am also doing this to protect the part of society that is offended by us (they have to right to peacefully co-exist through blissful ignorance...).
I hope this clears some things up.
As always, if you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to drop me a line (via the list and/or my private e-mail box) and I will get back with you as soon as is possible.I look forward to meeting many of you tomorrow... See you at 6!
:)
-Isabella
ok....point one. if a patron/nilla asks what we are doing.....we send him or her back to the area where the munch is? Does anyone besides me see the logic in that....especially if there could be some that are a little bit worried about being 'outed' at all? Where is the respect for the munch patron's privacy?Also, I have yet to see a host/ess actually circulate amongst the guests at the munch. This is anywhere...not just Indy, but NIK, Kokomo, Anderson...and a some from way out of state.
Again, you state that you will assume one is up to no good. You all know what they say about assuming anything, yes?
The over all tone of this little missive is....almost, insulting. I frankly find it sarcastic and offensive...even though the beginning of it was humourous and promising.
Now, after all this time, I've pretty much made up my mind on the munch and the hostess, but the over all responses are entirely too interesting to just leave.
Now to the last response so far....
Date: Fri Sep 16, 2005 5:56 pm
Okelie dokelie....Well, hmmmmm.....It seems some folks are still confused, just a little, over some of the finer points of the new Indianapolis munch rule. So, without further ado I will make my points easy to read for those of you who like to skim... ;)1) I was asked to be the hostess of the Indianapolis munch becauseI'm not afraid to do new things (I am one of the creators, founding members, and organizer for House of T***). This rule is one ofthose new things, and while it may create a lot of flak (please seenumber two)....2) I am instilling this rule because I want the munch to be around for the new folks (young and old alike). My goal, while hostess, is to create a safe environment for *new* folks to show up and meetothers who may share similar interests. Getting complaints from avenue about inappropriate behavior from munch attendees and/or getting kicked out of a location (which has happened to the Indianapolis munch before) does not equal a safe environment.3) I am not asking anyone to ask me for permission to speak.
I am asking for folks to give me a heads up when they are going to be/have been talking with patrons outside of the munch so that I know nothing inappropriate
is/was talked about. I assume that if you're comfortable enough to come up to me and let me know you were chatting, that nothing inappropriate was discussed. In short, this rule is intended to keep inappropriate people from acting inappropriately. If someone compliments you about something and you say "Thank you," that would be an example of polite behavior - and clearly not inappropriate.4) For those of you who are sticklers for protocol (which describes me from time to time! ;p), I am not a submissive. I will even have my pet with me at this gathering...5) The new rule never stated that a ban will be permanent. A ban, if any, will be upheld only for as long I am the hostess of the munch (unless the incoming host/ess decides to uphold a ban).-Isabella
I want to know when this rule was mentioned to the munch group? Do we just absorb it via aura? How? Where and when did I miss this rule going into effect?
Somewhere back in all the posts, it was mentioned that some Dom and his buddies took it on themselves to try and recruit a tender young virgin. It was mentioned that this Dom still doesn't see what he did that was so wrong. GET rid of him if you want to nip it in the bud!
Why oh why, didn't someone hit him in the head with a 2x4? That is how you get the attention of a mule. Besides, if he's that damn stupid, you shouldn't want him in the group anyway and he should be BARRED from every coming to another one. No, he messed up and now those of us that like coming to the munch are bearing the brunt of it.
NIK or ALM had an issue with a dom that was inappropriately touching the wait staff. I would have bounced him out on his ass in a heartbeat. As I have heard, he's still allowed to attend area munches. No one wants to offend anyone so they do nothing.
I actually applaud the action of removing an offending person if they commit a trangression. ASSUMING they have committed a transgression without knowing anything, opens the way for abuse of this policy. What if someone comes up to you and says, "I saw so and so talking to some nilla out in the main dining room."
What are you going to do?
March them out of the bathroom to their car?
Meet them at the door and force them to leave?
Will you listen to their protest?
Will you investigate the incident?
Do you actually care about the people that come to the munch or this just a blanket remedy to inaction from before?
The rule is for inappropriate people you said. Yet we have to come up to you and let you know we'll be speaking to people out in the main area.
The rule is for inappropriate people you said. Yet we have to come up to you and let you know we'll be speaking to people out in the main area.
This is an assinine rule. Technically, I have no problem with it, since I don't really know anyone in Indy anyway so have no fears on that point. BUT, I'm known for just striking up conversations with people standing in grocery lines, bathroom lines...etc just to past the time.
I urge you to reconsider this rule. Make it a suggestion, word it differently, allow for friendliness. You have just changed the tone of the munch from friendly, to one of apprehension.
I wonder what she will have to say?
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Wow...
What a weekend!!!
My housemate and I had friends from the lifestyle over this weekend for food and play.
It....well, to describe this....it was like having family over to hang out, watch tv, gossip, compare, exchange ideas.....
It was a blast.
AND.....it keeps getting better!
Now, usually, I like to bring in one new person each time. A sort of gentle introduction to the lifestyle that is very no pressure: everyone there is more than happy to lend a helping hand or 2. Everyone WANTS to learn something new or pass on what they have learned by offering a gentle suggestion or 2.
I'm always floored by just how relaxed everyone is.
Consider......... some are scening, some are chatting in another room, some are watching the cartoon channel.
Is this family or what?
Is this fun or what?
The rest of you, have no idea what yer missing....
My housemate and I had friends from the lifestyle over this weekend for food and play.
It....well, to describe this....it was like having family over to hang out, watch tv, gossip, compare, exchange ideas.....
It was a blast.
AND.....it keeps getting better!
Now, usually, I like to bring in one new person each time. A sort of gentle introduction to the lifestyle that is very no pressure: everyone there is more than happy to lend a helping hand or 2. Everyone WANTS to learn something new or pass on what they have learned by offering a gentle suggestion or 2.
I'm always floored by just how relaxed everyone is.
Consider......... some are scening, some are chatting in another room, some are watching the cartoon channel.
Is this family or what?
Is this fun or what?
The rest of you, have no idea what yer missing....
Monday, September 05, 2005
What's in a word?
To the bozo who gave us the word "Domme"....
C'mere so I can smack da chit out of you.
Its not even a real word. It doesn't exist in the French where I'm sure they were trying to make 'domme' like the ACTUAL word 'femme'.... The notion that just as you pronounce Femme as Fem, not Femmay, you pronounce Domme as Dom, is totally missed by many who end up shouting that they are a 'Dom may' or as I think it..."Dummay"
It cracks me up.
Not only is it a fake word, they can't even pronounce it as it should be...based on the word they are taking it from.
I am not a "Domme". I am a Dominant and quite happily so. Just call me Ma'am. It's good enough for the Queen, it's good enough for me.
'nuff said.
C'mere so I can smack da chit out of you.
Its not even a real word. It doesn't exist in the French where I'm sure they were trying to make 'domme' like the ACTUAL word 'femme'.... The notion that just as you pronounce Femme as Fem, not Femmay, you pronounce Domme as Dom, is totally missed by many who end up shouting that they are a 'Dom may' or as I think it..."Dummay"
It cracks me up.
Not only is it a fake word, they can't even pronounce it as it should be...based on the word they are taking it from.
I am not a "Domme". I am a Dominant and quite happily so. Just call me Ma'am. It's good enough for the Queen, it's good enough for me.
'nuff said.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Worth repeating....
I don't know how many times I have heard people use the terms... "my Sir" "my Ma'am".
Its irritating. Stop it. If there is a Biblical reason behind it.....well, look here and see what it's actually about:
http://www.tektonics.org/lp/nomaster.html
The word is not a name or a noun and around me at least, it will not be used as if it were. It is a title, a display of respect and should only replace a name in direct conversation with the respected party meaning....the Dominant you are submissive to.
Most people now use it now because they are ignorant. Granted the word has a bit of a charge to it...but don't mistake the charge for substance. "Call me 'sir/ma'am'," results in subbies speaking of "my Sir/Ma'am" and doing things because "Sir/Ma'am said to." It's bad English and a poor relation to the original use of the word.
Don't do it. If this little rant upsets or annoys you.....tough. Use correct English fer gawd's sake.
Sheesh.
*****************************************
Jake update.
Jake was at the vet's for a little nip and tuck. Ya, he was neutered. He was so out of it when he came home. Walked around like a drunken sailor. Pupils were all huge.....he was sort of like a stoner kitty actually.
What's weird is that now he plays with the dog. They chase each other around the house and play together. Before, if the dog got to close to him, Jake would smack the crap out of the dog.
He's much more playful now. Do you supposed he's afraid that if he doesn't act more cat like, that I'm going to have something else cut off?
My poor kitty cat. But, he's doing ok. At least I'm not having his claws amputated. Declawing is NOT an option.
Its irritating. Stop it. If there is a Biblical reason behind it.....well, look here and see what it's actually about:
http://www.tektonics.org/lp/nomaster.html
The word is not a name or a noun and around me at least, it will not be used as if it were. It is a title, a display of respect and should only replace a name in direct conversation with the respected party meaning....the Dominant you are submissive to.
Most people now use it now because they are ignorant. Granted the word has a bit of a charge to it...but don't mistake the charge for substance. "Call me 'sir/ma'am'," results in subbies speaking of "my Sir/Ma'am" and doing things because "Sir/Ma'am said to." It's bad English and a poor relation to the original use of the word.
Don't do it. If this little rant upsets or annoys you.....tough. Use correct English fer gawd's sake.
Sheesh.
*****************************************
Jake update.
Jake was at the vet's for a little nip and tuck. Ya, he was neutered. He was so out of it when he came home. Walked around like a drunken sailor. Pupils were all huge.....he was sort of like a stoner kitty actually.
What's weird is that now he plays with the dog. They chase each other around the house and play together. Before, if the dog got to close to him, Jake would smack the crap out of the dog.
He's much more playful now. Do you supposed he's afraid that if he doesn't act more cat like, that I'm going to have something else cut off?
My poor kitty cat. But, he's doing ok. At least I'm not having his claws amputated. Declawing is NOT an option.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Appreciating the Unique......Miss Pink!
I have this friend.
No, it's true...I do have a friend.
She has many excellent qualities...but her most endearing......and what makes her the most unique person I know of, is that she's just so damn interested in everything...and gets so excited when presented with something new to see or learn.
Others have said that her biggest fault.
Really, they did.!
It is that excitibility that keeps things fresh and new. It is so easy for all of us to become so ... jaded by all that we see. Its our responsiblity I believe, to keep things fresh and exciting for those that submit themselves to us. I never want what I do to become old and tired. I don't want to flog or cane and have my mind somewhere else...like how much laundry I have waiting. Mistakes happen that way if we get sloppy. But we are only human and we are bored....then, that doesn't make it any good for the sub....and definitely doesn't do us any good. I haven't gotten bored though.....at least not with a sub around.
Usually if I am that bored...I take off for a while...do something else. Write, drive, visit...explore.... recharge the batteries so to speak. My friend though....SHE just has this zest for the whole lifestyle! In a way, a lot of it is just so new to her that her enthusiasm is just contagious. Everything is a learning experience and she just dives in. Both feet. No hesitation. How many of us can say that? I can't. I hesitate for various reasons. Not my friend. She just bungie jumps in!
Here's to you Miss Pinky!
No, it's true...I do have a friend.
She has many excellent qualities...but her most endearing......and what makes her the most unique person I know of, is that she's just so damn interested in everything...and gets so excited when presented with something new to see or learn.
Others have said that her biggest fault.
Really, they did.!
It is that excitibility that keeps things fresh and new. It is so easy for all of us to become so ... jaded by all that we see. Its our responsiblity I believe, to keep things fresh and exciting for those that submit themselves to us. I never want what I do to become old and tired. I don't want to flog or cane and have my mind somewhere else...like how much laundry I have waiting. Mistakes happen that way if we get sloppy. But we are only human and we are bored....then, that doesn't make it any good for the sub....and definitely doesn't do us any good. I haven't gotten bored though.....at least not with a sub around.
Usually if I am that bored...I take off for a while...do something else. Write, drive, visit...explore.... recharge the batteries so to speak. My friend though....SHE just has this zest for the whole lifestyle! In a way, a lot of it is just so new to her that her enthusiasm is just contagious. Everything is a learning experience and she just dives in. Both feet. No hesitation. How many of us can say that? I can't. I hesitate for various reasons. Not my friend. She just bungie jumps in!
Here's to you Miss Pinky!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
psssst.......pssssst......wanna know something?
Come closer.....
A little closer please......
I promise, I'm not going to bite you! I'll even pinky promise!
I did not ask fer email addresses so that I could steal the gawddamn egroup! That one could think that, tells me a lot about just how paranoid some are.
I am NOT going to organize another group here!
I'm am going to enjoy myself, enjoy others, nod politely at you should I see you somewhere and not think about this.
This is just a VERY small group of people that I like and respect, getting together for food and drink and intelligent conversation.
As long as ya'll don't start nothing, won't BE nothing.
sheesh........
A little closer please......
I promise, I'm not going to bite you! I'll even pinky promise!
I did not ask fer email addresses so that I could steal the gawddamn egroup! That one could think that, tells me a lot about just how paranoid some are.
I am NOT going to organize another group here!
I'm am going to enjoy myself, enjoy others, nod politely at you should I see you somewhere and not think about this.
This is just a VERY small group of people that I like and respect, getting together for food and drink and intelligent conversation.
As long as ya'll don't start nothing, won't BE nothing.
sheesh........
Monday, August 15, 2005
this weekend.....
I had a good weekend.
I organized a cookout/play party with an RSVP guest list and people actually showed up!
We had a good time......we had a GREAT time! I feel so damn free! There could have been small improvements, but for giving a first time party......whoohooo! I did good.
I owe it all to my guests though. Can't have a good party without good guests...and they were great guests. None of us had any sort of agenda with each other, everyone was confident of their skills, no need fer posing......no need to do anything you didn't want to.
I wandered a round...and found a bunch of people watching Blue Collar Comedy Tour...and laughing like loons. The air of relaxation was just so.....apparent.
Good food, good company.....was a lovely time.
After eating....don't think we didn't play. Oh, we played. We played hard.
And that's all I'm going to say about that.......
Except.....that we might be having another party next month.
I organized a cookout/play party with an RSVP guest list and people actually showed up!
We had a good time......we had a GREAT time! I feel so damn free! There could have been small improvements, but for giving a first time party......whoohooo! I did good.
I owe it all to my guests though. Can't have a good party without good guests...and they were great guests. None of us had any sort of agenda with each other, everyone was confident of their skills, no need fer posing......no need to do anything you didn't want to.
I wandered a round...and found a bunch of people watching Blue Collar Comedy Tour...and laughing like loons. The air of relaxation was just so.....apparent.
Good food, good company.....was a lovely time.
After eating....don't think we didn't play. Oh, we played. We played hard.
And that's all I'm going to say about that.......
Except.....that we might be having another party next month.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Jake
Jake got hurt again.
This time he ended up with some sort of bite that turned into some kind of infection. Jake came home on 3 legs....he went for his food dish...so I knew he was ok to some extent...but if you picked him up, he's cry out.
Its 10 at night, so no use calling a vet. Nothing felt broken, but he was hurting he was.... He went and got on A's bed and didn't move all night except to turn over and squall now and then.
Around here, the vets will not see anyone before 10 am, even though their office opens at 8am. I call up and explain my situation. I was told I could bring him and they would give me an estimate.
An estimate?
I see, my cat is broke and they will give me an 'estimate' on how much it would be to fix him. If I couldn't afford it...well, too gawddamn bad for the cat. He can stay in pain and just fucking die I guess.
I realize that they need their money and all...but they do a nice business I guess...its cash or credit card. Yer fucked if you don't have either.
Never mind that some poor animal is suffering. How goddamn humane is that?
Jake did get to see a vet though. Thank God for A who loves the furball as much as I do.
Jake will be ok. Antibiotics and fish and ham will make him all better.
I wrote to the Pope to ask him to pray for Jake. Ya, I know, yer all thinking I'm completely off my gourd. The Pope has a cat...just not at the Vatican..some dumb rule. But yes, the Pope loves cats and well....given Jake's tendencies to get in trouble, I need all the help I can get and divine help is good help. I think though, I should have put in a request to the goddess Bast as well.
Usually, when I'm working on this, Jake is all curled up with his head on my arm or somewhere.
This time he ended up with some sort of bite that turned into some kind of infection. Jake came home on 3 legs....he went for his food dish...so I knew he was ok to some extent...but if you picked him up, he's cry out.
Its 10 at night, so no use calling a vet. Nothing felt broken, but he was hurting he was.... He went and got on A's bed and didn't move all night except to turn over and squall now and then.
Around here, the vets will not see anyone before 10 am, even though their office opens at 8am. I call up and explain my situation. I was told I could bring him and they would give me an estimate.
An estimate?
I see, my cat is broke and they will give me an 'estimate' on how much it would be to fix him. If I couldn't afford it...well, too gawddamn bad for the cat. He can stay in pain and just fucking die I guess.
I realize that they need their money and all...but they do a nice business I guess...its cash or credit card. Yer fucked if you don't have either.
Never mind that some poor animal is suffering. How goddamn humane is that?
Jake did get to see a vet though. Thank God for A who loves the furball as much as I do.
Jake will be ok. Antibiotics and fish and ham will make him all better.
I wrote to the Pope to ask him to pray for Jake. Ya, I know, yer all thinking I'm completely off my gourd. The Pope has a cat...just not at the Vatican..some dumb rule. But yes, the Pope loves cats and well....given Jake's tendencies to get in trouble, I need all the help I can get and divine help is good help. I think though, I should have put in a request to the goddess Bast as well.
Usually, when I'm working on this, Jake is all curled up with his head on my arm or somewhere.
He's still on the bed sleeping right now, getting better. He can't jump up this far and he hurts too bad to move around much.
I miss him being a pain in the arse......
Sunday, July 31, 2005
the making of a Dominant
I have to thank a slave william for this blog. It was something he said in one of his last emails that got me thinking.
While I have writing a bit about subs, I've never actually written about Dominants other than to criticize them. Some need to taken out back and beat like a rug. Some are just too magnificent to be believed. Some I am in awe of and make me wish to bend my knee to them. I remember old conversations I had with those I am in awe of and one thing I remember that didn't strike me as odd then but I find odd now, is that each and every one of those awesome Dominants was familiar with the Sun Tzu.
"Sun Tzu?", you are thinking, "Who dat?"
Well, my little monkeys, he wrote a little book way back called the Art of War. It is still used to this day not only in the military, but also in business. It is the closest thing to an owners manual that a human being has. I'd read it because I used to date a former Green Beret that used to quote Tzu quite a bit. I am not suggesting that the submissive is the enemy, but only that handling them can be done as such. After all, as when one dominants, one conquers.
While I have writing a bit about subs, I've never actually written about Dominants other than to criticize them. Some need to taken out back and beat like a rug. Some are just too magnificent to be believed. Some I am in awe of and make me wish to bend my knee to them. I remember old conversations I had with those I am in awe of and one thing I remember that didn't strike me as odd then but I find odd now, is that each and every one of those awesome Dominants was familiar with the Sun Tzu.
"Sun Tzu?", you are thinking, "Who dat?"
Well, my little monkeys, he wrote a little book way back called the Art of War. It is still used to this day not only in the military, but also in business. It is the closest thing to an owners manual that a human being has. I'd read it because I used to date a former Green Beret that used to quote Tzu quite a bit. I am not suggesting that the submissive is the enemy, but only that handling them can be done as such. After all, as when one dominants, one conquers.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
I'm not mean, yer a sissy!
I was chatting with a friend one evening at a munch and we ended up talked about styles.... She then said...women are more cruel then men.
She is right.
For sheer cruelty, you can't touch what a woman can do. It doesn't matter if its physical or mental cruelty, women just are better at it. Men can seem to only hurt you in certain ways only if you let them. If it's mental cruelty a man is doing, it can only hurt you if you allow it. If you know what his game is, then it might sting, but you really understand that he's just blowing it out his ass. If a man is beating someone, and I'm not talking about lifestyle things where there are RULES, but rather abuse, he may be cruel a the time, but he'll stop and then feel bad then be good for a while. By the way, if you are in a situation like that... GET THE FUCK OUT. Run. There are all kinds of places to hide. No woman should ever be abused. Ever. Get out before someone dies.
Now, going back to lifestyle things....Women play harder. I'm not sure why. I know why I do things, its because I'm a sadist. I admit it. I enjoy their pain. A lot of women however, do not. At least not to the degree that I like. I'm not saying this is dominantion. Its not. It's pain at its pure form for my enjoyment. Would you believe it does not sexually excite me? I'm serious. I derive a great deal of enjoyment out of it, but it doesn't arouse me. Personally, I think sex would just ruin the whole mood. Am I wrong? I don't think so and that is all that matters as far as I am concerned.
*************************
I'm gonna share summat with you all. It's my deepest darkest fantasy. It might scare some of you.
Are you ready?
(deep breath)
Sorry, not going to tell you. It scares me.
*************************
Speaking of scaring, I promised a sub that I would scare him. Time will tell if I scared him very badly or not. He'd been asking for limits pushed. He also mentioned that he didn't give over control so well.
Today I didn't give him that option.
""Step into my parlor', said the spider to the fly", I whispered to him as I not only had him cuffed to the cross, but then wrapped his arms and legs to it as well with industrial strength shrink wrap. He could not move. He could not wiggle. Helpless.
He didn't much like it.
He was ....... afraid. (shivers)
I then whispered to him, "A safe word is only an illusion". If you think about it, technically that is true. He had to trust me. At that point I don't think he knew if he did or didn't. At that point I had my wicked way with him and didn't give him time to think.
I could taste his fear. I could have rolled around in it like a cat would roll around in catnip. It was so delightful. I said things to him to make him even more fearful. I think it worked. When I thought he had had enough, and was about to panic, I stopped and let him rest and then chatted with him about that experience.
It took me a while to figure out what I was going to do. I knew I was going to teach him fear, but not how I was going to do it. I had to work myself into the mind frame most of the day.
I do believe I pushed some of his limits nearly to their breaking point.
Maybe some of you are thinking.....oh now...that just ain't right. Welp, I can prove that I did tell him that I was going to show him fear and that I couldn't tell him how but that I was going to do it. He had ample warning. Now I can go back to being my normal self with him. If I'm lucky, he may post here and tell all of you about the experience.
Wouldn't that be nice? I think so too.
She is right.
For sheer cruelty, you can't touch what a woman can do. It doesn't matter if its physical or mental cruelty, women just are better at it. Men can seem to only hurt you in certain ways only if you let them. If it's mental cruelty a man is doing, it can only hurt you if you allow it. If you know what his game is, then it might sting, but you really understand that he's just blowing it out his ass. If a man is beating someone, and I'm not talking about lifestyle things where there are RULES, but rather abuse, he may be cruel a the time, but he'll stop and then feel bad then be good for a while. By the way, if you are in a situation like that... GET THE FUCK OUT. Run. There are all kinds of places to hide. No woman should ever be abused. Ever. Get out before someone dies.
Now, going back to lifestyle things....Women play harder. I'm not sure why. I know why I do things, its because I'm a sadist. I admit it. I enjoy their pain. A lot of women however, do not. At least not to the degree that I like. I'm not saying this is dominantion. Its not. It's pain at its pure form for my enjoyment. Would you believe it does not sexually excite me? I'm serious. I derive a great deal of enjoyment out of it, but it doesn't arouse me. Personally, I think sex would just ruin the whole mood. Am I wrong? I don't think so and that is all that matters as far as I am concerned.
*************************
I'm gonna share summat with you all. It's my deepest darkest fantasy. It might scare some of you.
Are you ready?
(deep breath)
Sorry, not going to tell you. It scares me.
*************************
Speaking of scaring, I promised a sub that I would scare him. Time will tell if I scared him very badly or not. He'd been asking for limits pushed. He also mentioned that he didn't give over control so well.
Today I didn't give him that option.
""Step into my parlor', said the spider to the fly", I whispered to him as I not only had him cuffed to the cross, but then wrapped his arms and legs to it as well with industrial strength shrink wrap. He could not move. He could not wiggle. Helpless.
He didn't much like it.
He was ....... afraid. (shivers)
I then whispered to him, "A safe word is only an illusion". If you think about it, technically that is true. He had to trust me. At that point I don't think he knew if he did or didn't. At that point I had my wicked way with him and didn't give him time to think.
I could taste his fear. I could have rolled around in it like a cat would roll around in catnip. It was so delightful. I said things to him to make him even more fearful. I think it worked. When I thought he had had enough, and was about to panic, I stopped and let him rest and then chatted with him about that experience.
It took me a while to figure out what I was going to do. I knew I was going to teach him fear, but not how I was going to do it. I had to work myself into the mind frame most of the day.
I do believe I pushed some of his limits nearly to their breaking point.
Maybe some of you are thinking.....oh now...that just ain't right. Welp, I can prove that I did tell him that I was going to show him fear and that I couldn't tell him how but that I was going to do it. He had ample warning. Now I can go back to being my normal self with him. If I'm lucky, he may post here and tell all of you about the experience.
Wouldn't that be nice? I think so too.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
a scare...involving Master Jake
Master Jake got in a fight Wed. night.
He was on the business end of some teeth or claw and got his bad ear punctured.
My poor baby was listless, wouldn't eat, would cry, would sort of pad softly from one area to another. I thought he was mad about something....because if I have not done what he wants, I get the cold shoulder. Instead, when I go to bed, he's curled up on Alan's bed. I curled up with him and that's when I found it.
A massive hematoma on his bad ear.
Well, I did what any self respecting slave would do. I panicked. I called a buddy of mine who has cats and pleaded for help. He got here and he inspected Master Jake and looked in the phone book to see when a Vet would be open. 8am is when the offices open, but no doctors until 10am.
10am. A human doctor can be in his office at 8am, or 9am. These guys got it good.
However, my Jake was hurting and I was a mess. I iced his ear to keep the swelling down (based on the suggestion of my buddy) and it seemed to have helped.
Jake had tears coming out of his eyes....which were opened so wide as we went into the Vet's office. I have to say, I was about to get all soggy to, but I had to be strong so that he doesn't pick up on my panic. He let me know how unhappy he was to be there.
We finally got in to see the Vet. They wanted to operate on him!!! To take give him some sort of screen to keep the shape of his ear correct....which, as it is....Jake's ear is already messed up, it will never be right.
I tell them what the budget will afford and he goes hmmmm....and then takes Jake to another area where I can't go. I soon hear this big old yowl...and he comes back in and says they need to tranq my cat. Lord god in heaven...what are they doing to Jakers??? I say ok, because I have been on the business of his teeth before. The nail grew back nicely thank you.
So, a while later, this kid comes back with a very quiet and very .... stoned looking Jake in his arms. MY POOR JAKE! His head is bloody, his leg is all wet looking, and he looks like..."dude, weird trip". He's so groggy.
We pay the bill and off we go....he's not so groggy that he can't stuggle like crazy. We get home ok despite the fact that he wanted to make the trip on top of my feet. It was not good for him because I drive a stick.
So, now I have to squeeze Jake's ear every so often to get the stuff out of it and then give him a dropper of antibotics. He hates that squeezing on his ear. He's using words I didn't know he knew and if he weren't sick I'd wash his mouth out with soap. He is VERY vocal about I'm doing to him.
He's better now. He's eating....fussing about wanting to be let out....as if. When I don't have to press his ear he might be allowed, but until then....I don't think so.
I love my kitty....but I don't want to be scared like that ever again. How do parents ever handle sickness?
He was on the business end of some teeth or claw and got his bad ear punctured.
My poor baby was listless, wouldn't eat, would cry, would sort of pad softly from one area to another. I thought he was mad about something....because if I have not done what he wants, I get the cold shoulder. Instead, when I go to bed, he's curled up on Alan's bed. I curled up with him and that's when I found it.
A massive hematoma on his bad ear.
Well, I did what any self respecting slave would do. I panicked. I called a buddy of mine who has cats and pleaded for help. He got here and he inspected Master Jake and looked in the phone book to see when a Vet would be open. 8am is when the offices open, but no doctors until 10am.
10am. A human doctor can be in his office at 8am, or 9am. These guys got it good.
However, my Jake was hurting and I was a mess. I iced his ear to keep the swelling down (based on the suggestion of my buddy) and it seemed to have helped.
Jake had tears coming out of his eyes....which were opened so wide as we went into the Vet's office. I have to say, I was about to get all soggy to, but I had to be strong so that he doesn't pick up on my panic. He let me know how unhappy he was to be there.
We finally got in to see the Vet. They wanted to operate on him!!! To take give him some sort of screen to keep the shape of his ear correct....which, as it is....Jake's ear is already messed up, it will never be right.
I tell them what the budget will afford and he goes hmmmm....and then takes Jake to another area where I can't go. I soon hear this big old yowl...and he comes back in and says they need to tranq my cat. Lord god in heaven...what are they doing to Jakers??? I say ok, because I have been on the business of his teeth before. The nail grew back nicely thank you.
So, a while later, this kid comes back with a very quiet and very .... stoned looking Jake in his arms. MY POOR JAKE! His head is bloody, his leg is all wet looking, and he looks like..."dude, weird trip". He's so groggy.
We pay the bill and off we go....he's not so groggy that he can't stuggle like crazy. We get home ok despite the fact that he wanted to make the trip on top of my feet. It was not good for him because I drive a stick.
So, now I have to squeeze Jake's ear every so often to get the stuff out of it and then give him a dropper of antibotics. He hates that squeezing on his ear. He's using words I didn't know he knew and if he weren't sick I'd wash his mouth out with soap. He is VERY vocal about I'm doing to him.
He's better now. He's eating....fussing about wanting to be let out....as if. When I don't have to press his ear he might be allowed, but until then....I don't think so.
I love my kitty....but I don't want to be scared like that ever again. How do parents ever handle sickness?
Sunday, July 17, 2005
A few events lately....
I don't know how many times I have heard people use the terms... "my Sir" "my Ma'am".
Its irritating. Stop it. The word is not a name or a noun and around me at least, it will not be used as if it were. It is a title, a display of respect and should only replace a name in direct conversation with the respected party.
Most people now use it now because they are ignorant. Granted the word has a bit of a charge to it...but don't mistake the charge for substance. "Call me 'sir'," results in subbies speaking of "my Sir" and doing things because "Sir said to." It's bad English and a poor relation to the original use of the word.
Don't do it. If this little rant upsets or annoys you.....tough. Use correct English fer gawd's sake.
Sheesh.
**********************
Some of youse might remember some earlier postings.....had to do with a messy dom. Welp, we have buried the hatch.
NO, he didn't bury it in my skull.
gee whiz, yer a blood thirsty lot!
We talked, cleared the air.....I wanted to know if he had LISTENED to what had been said. People had been wanting to help him but it didn't seem to have been getting though to him at the time. I believe though, that the issue is now resolved. No more problem....at least with that bit.
**********************
I went to a play party the other evening. I'm suprised my indignation isn't pouring out of me. I watched some perfectly lovely girl be caned at least twice in the waist and kidney area. I had no idea actually if there was a DM in charge or what. The people were nice enough....I had some lovely conversations, but geeze louise, isn't anyone concerned with sanitation, cleaniness, safety...etc? I dunno if I want to go back. I think if I go to any more play parties, they will be here at home where I know stuff is taken care of and things are cleaned...and where I know that people will be safe, or I will go to the Ft Wayne play parties that are on a more professional level.
And for those of you who are wondering....no, I didn't say anything about the caning or other stuff I saw.....I may do it in an email to someone. I know its going to piss someone off....but ya know...like that bothers me?
**********************
For those of who know about Master Jake..... he's got a new computer desk to jump up on.
I was lucky enough to catch him in a full roll. I will have to reach the keyboard around his body now....which is not so bad. Its sort of cute with his little paws on my arm...or his big furry head on my arm. Slows down my typing a bit, but hey, its Jake, its worth it.
Oh, I have another little pic of him below...
He is full out snoring in the pic on the left. He does have a nasty habit of kicking the mouse. I would have taken another pic of him, but he doesn't like having his photo taken and soon after this one, he got up and ran.
Dumb cat.
Its irritating. Stop it. The word is not a name or a noun and around me at least, it will not be used as if it were. It is a title, a display of respect and should only replace a name in direct conversation with the respected party.
Most people now use it now because they are ignorant. Granted the word has a bit of a charge to it...but don't mistake the charge for substance. "Call me 'sir'," results in subbies speaking of "my Sir" and doing things because "Sir said to." It's bad English and a poor relation to the original use of the word.
Don't do it. If this little rant upsets or annoys you.....tough. Use correct English fer gawd's sake.
Sheesh.
**********************
Some of youse might remember some earlier postings.....had to do with a messy dom. Welp, we have buried the hatch.
NO, he didn't bury it in my skull.
gee whiz, yer a blood thirsty lot!
We talked, cleared the air.....I wanted to know if he had LISTENED to what had been said. People had been wanting to help him but it didn't seem to have been getting though to him at the time. I believe though, that the issue is now resolved. No more problem....at least with that bit.
**********************
I went to a play party the other evening. I'm suprised my indignation isn't pouring out of me. I watched some perfectly lovely girl be caned at least twice in the waist and kidney area. I had no idea actually if there was a DM in charge or what. The people were nice enough....I had some lovely conversations, but geeze louise, isn't anyone concerned with sanitation, cleaniness, safety...etc? I dunno if I want to go back. I think if I go to any more play parties, they will be here at home where I know stuff is taken care of and things are cleaned...and where I know that people will be safe, or I will go to the Ft Wayne play parties that are on a more professional level.
And for those of you who are wondering....no, I didn't say anything about the caning or other stuff I saw.....I may do it in an email to someone. I know its going to piss someone off....but ya know...like that bothers me?
**********************
For those of who know about Master Jake..... he's got a new computer desk to jump up on.
I was lucky enough to catch him in a full roll. I will have to reach the keyboard around his body now....which is not so bad. Its sort of cute with his little paws on my arm...or his big furry head on my arm. Slows down my typing a bit, but hey, its Jake, its worth it.
Oh, I have another little pic of him below...
He is full out snoring in the pic on the left. He does have a nasty habit of kicking the mouse. I would have taken another pic of him, but he doesn't like having his photo taken and soon after this one, he got up and ran.
Dumb cat.
Communication
I had the great privilege to talk to someone about communication last night. He said, "If you're a boss and were asked what communication is, you'd say that it was you telling me what to do. If you are an employee then it would be acknowledging what the boss just said. That is only HALF of what communication is." He went on to say that communication isn't even really taught at home or schools anymore because no one really understands it. We both agreed that communication is the talking back and forth of a subject until its equality understood by both parties.
If anyone has to understand what communication actually is, it's us in the lifestyle.....at no matter what level of experience, no matter what we have seen or heard: communication is the single most important aspect of what we are. Scenes have to be negotiated. A Dominant could actually tell the sub what's he or she is going to do. The sub could then give consent. But, if that Dom does something else....essentially throwing a wrench in the works....that is a break down in communication. The sub would then be within his or her rights to protest, to be angry...etc.
An email was recently sent out on a group I am part of. I'm going to post it here because I think it should be read by any and all. It's longish but important.
Something I noticed leads me to believe that this is more like a warning than anything because I'd have his ass in jail for killing me....ESPECIALLY if I had 3 little kids that would lose their mother. Does it make your blood run cold? It does mine....because it could happen. Several warnings are here. I'll keep it in mind....will you?
If anyone has to understand what communication actually is, it's us in the lifestyle.....at no matter what level of experience, no matter what we have seen or heard: communication is the single most important aspect of what we are. Scenes have to be negotiated. A Dominant could actually tell the sub what's he or she is going to do. The sub could then give consent. But, if that Dom does something else....essentially throwing a wrench in the works....that is a break down in communication. The sub would then be within his or her rights to protest, to be angry...etc.
An email was recently sent out on a group I am part of. I'm going to post it here because I think it should be read by any and all. It's longish but important.
A couple of weeks ago a situation in a community I used to be active in, came to my attention. The situation is sad. First, there are 2 messages that I would like to communicate, one is about Consent and one is about safety. Neither are meant to be a lecture. The story is true. I am not going to tell you names, for that isn't what this is about.
But, so you have some idea, the Dominant in the story, has been in the lifestyle for 20 plus years and just recently, after losing his submissive to cancer, starting publicly playing with others again.
The submissive has been in the lifestyle for about 12 years. She is a single mother of 3 and was released about 4 months ago from her last Dominant.
The play party they were at was well know and frequented by many. There is 1 DM required for every 7 people and Sexual activity is allowed if all participants have negotiated it.
These 2 individuals had seen at each before and discussed scening together. Her limits were discussed. Sexual activity was not discussed, negotiated or approved. She consented to being tied, whipped, some limited knife play and wax play.
The scene was very intense. There was about 15 people watching it. There was a DM nearby. The submissive was naked bent over a bench and strapped into place. About an hour into the scene the sub has gone past the point of being able to consent or use safe words. It was critical the Dominant and the DM kept an eye on her. But what the Dominant did was undid his pants and had sexual intercourse with her. 1. The DM didn't know that it hadn't been consented to. 2. The spectators didn't know it hadn't been consented to 3. The sub was so deep she wasn't capable of speaking or denying him anything.
After the scene and the aftercare and the sub "came down" she realized what had happened and cried rape. It became very ugly after that for everyone.
Everyone wanted to blame everyone else for how it happened. The authorities were never brought into it. The community policed its own. Let's just say that those who were the senior members of the community put the burden of blame where it belonged. On the Dominant.
Now let me ask everyone this.
Would you scene or negotiate a scene with a person who is drunk? Would you scene or negotiate a scene with someone who is high? Would you scene or negotiate a scene with someone mentally handicapped? I am sure that at least everyone I know on this group, would say no.
One of the main reasons a scene is negotiated before it happens, is because at that point, if the above 3 issues are not present, both parties are of sound mind and full faculties to consent. I have no idea what "subspace" is, but based on information I have obtained and information from lifestyle friendly professionals, many of the
characteristics are similar to being "High" "drunk" or "mentally impaired" This
is not about arguing or questioning that (I am qualified to do that). But as
Dominant I know when I have taken a sub to that point, that my responsibility
for him/her triples, because they often become "putty" in my hands. At that point anything a Dominant does, that was not previously agreed to or
negotiated, is crossing the "line"
The second issue her is even more tragic. Most of the time when we talk about safety in this lifestyle we usually refer to BDSM Vs Abuse. Or the mental or psychological abuse a Dominant may inflict on a sub or slave, or even vice versa. We talk about safe words and safe calls. We talk about predators. But very seldom and on a very limited basis do we ever hear talk of sexual safety. Safety 101. The
basics we teach our kids. For many it is because BDSM isn't sexual in nature to
them. For some they don't practice safe sex, for some they leave it up to the "other" person to worry about it.
Well, the Dominant in this scenario has Aids. The "cancer" his wife died from was aids. He had infected her with it after contracting it from a "friend" It was only after the community looked deeper at this Dominant that any of this was discovered. After being tested the sub has been found to be carrying the HIV virus. Will she get AIDS? The chances are very high that she will. In essence, he signed her a death warrant.
The following links are just a few of many. Most lifestyles sites do have some info on "safe" sex.
This community no longer allows exchange of bodily fluids at any of their functions. what they have found is that more people now come to their events, not less. The Dominant is on a "watch" list and banned from play parties. The sub has turned to her "lifestyle" family for support and is in counseling.
Education, awareness and vigilance are the things that keep us the safest.
http://www.sexuality.org/l/bdsm/safesm2.html
http://www.sexuality.org/concise.html
http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/pubs/faq/faq19.htm
Something I noticed leads me to believe that this is more like a warning than anything because I'd have his ass in jail for killing me....ESPECIALLY if I had 3 little kids that would lose their mother. Does it make your blood run cold? It does mine....because it could happen. Several warnings are here. I'll keep it in mind....will you?
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Politeness and how to acquire it
From Emily Post's Book of Etiquette:
"Always abroad, and every really well-bred lady or gentleman here, says “please” in asking that something be brought her or him. “Please get me the book I left on the table in my room!” Or “Please give me some bread!” Or “Some bread, please.” Or one can say equally politely and omit the please, “I’d like some toast,” but it is usual and instinctive to every lady or gentleman to add “please.”
In refusing a dish at the table, one must say “No, thank you,” or “No, thanks,” or else one shakes one’s head. A head can be shaken politely or rudely. To be courteously polite, and yet keep one’s walls up is a thing every thoroughbred person knows how to do—and a thing that everyone who is trying to become such must learn to do
.
A rule can’t be given because there isn’t any. As said in another chapter, a well-bred person always lives within the walls of his personal reserve, a vulgarian has no walls—or at least none that do not collapse at the slightest touch. But those who think they appear superior by being rude to others whom fortune has placed below them, might as well, did they but know it, shout their own unexalted origin to the world at large, since by no other method could it be more widely published. "
'Nuff said......I think....
"Always abroad, and every really well-bred lady or gentleman here, says “please” in asking that something be brought her or him. “Please get me the book I left on the table in my room!” Or “Please give me some bread!” Or “Some bread, please.” Or one can say equally politely and omit the please, “I’d like some toast,” but it is usual and instinctive to every lady or gentleman to add “please.”
In refusing a dish at the table, one must say “No, thank you,” or “No, thanks,” or else one shakes one’s head. A head can be shaken politely or rudely. To be courteously polite, and yet keep one’s walls up is a thing every thoroughbred person knows how to do—and a thing that everyone who is trying to become such must learn to do
.
A rule can’t be given because there isn’t any. As said in another chapter, a well-bred person always lives within the walls of his personal reserve, a vulgarian has no walls—or at least none that do not collapse at the slightest touch. But those who think they appear superior by being rude to others whom fortune has placed below them, might as well, did they but know it, shout their own unexalted origin to the world at large, since by no other method could it be more widely published. "
'Nuff said......I think....
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Rudeness and how to avoid it.
Did your mother teach you manners?
Mine did. When I was older, she gave me a book. Emily Post's Book of Etiquette. It was about 2 in. thick. I have since lost it in moving around the country....but thankfully, there is a copy of it online.
There is this local Dom who told a friend of mine...also a Dom, that one had to be an asshole sometimes with submissives.
I went, "WTF"?
"Yup.", she said.
This is where I guess that when one is not secure in their role as a Dominant they must grasp what they can in order to bolster their own ego. Amongst vanillas, it is called 'tearing one down in order to build oneself on up'. No, no, no....that's just wrong.
There is no excuse for rudeness. Whether it is to a submissive or to a vanilla. It doesn't even matter if they are rude to you. You do not counter their rudeness with your own. Kill them with kindness if you must do something. It cost you nothing and really places the rude person on the spot, which, you will have to admit, is rather sadistic. It is so...subtle yet so thorough to turn their rudeness against them.
Now if you are in public at a restaurant or somewhere and the staff messes up....you don't have to be loud and obnoxious about things, it makes you look bad and embarasses everyone else. The best thing I've ever found for faulty service or incorrect orders is to simply be firm, smile and let them fall all over themselves to correct the mistake. Speak quietly to the wait staff if they are being surly. Could be they do not realize they are being testy. I assure you, if you ask them quietly if they are ok and remark on their attitude...they will change it in a heart beat. Money talks and for most servers, they are there for the money.
You are a Dominant, it is your place to correct gently but firmly. I do it. Your mom or dad did it. It does work on staff in public places. Just be quiet about what you are doing. Do it right and no one will even notice you are chastising anyone publically. Its sort of evil and I love it.
So, if yer a Dominant and you think its ok to be rude to the wait staff or to anyone else that might piss you off..... "Bad Dom, no beating."
Mine did. When I was older, she gave me a book. Emily Post's Book of Etiquette. It was about 2 in. thick. I have since lost it in moving around the country....but thankfully, there is a copy of it online.
There is this local Dom who told a friend of mine...also a Dom, that one had to be an asshole sometimes with submissives.
I went, "WTF"?
"Yup.", she said.
This is where I guess that when one is not secure in their role as a Dominant they must grasp what they can in order to bolster their own ego. Amongst vanillas, it is called 'tearing one down in order to build oneself on up'. No, no, no....that's just wrong.
There is no excuse for rudeness. Whether it is to a submissive or to a vanilla. It doesn't even matter if they are rude to you. You do not counter their rudeness with your own. Kill them with kindness if you must do something. It cost you nothing and really places the rude person on the spot, which, you will have to admit, is rather sadistic. It is so...subtle yet so thorough to turn their rudeness against them.
Now if you are in public at a restaurant or somewhere and the staff messes up....you don't have to be loud and obnoxious about things, it makes you look bad and embarasses everyone else. The best thing I've ever found for faulty service or incorrect orders is to simply be firm, smile and let them fall all over themselves to correct the mistake. Speak quietly to the wait staff if they are being surly. Could be they do not realize they are being testy. I assure you, if you ask them quietly if they are ok and remark on their attitude...they will change it in a heart beat. Money talks and for most servers, they are there for the money.
You are a Dominant, it is your place to correct gently but firmly. I do it. Your mom or dad did it. It does work on staff in public places. Just be quiet about what you are doing. Do it right and no one will even notice you are chastising anyone publically. Its sort of evil and I love it.
So, if yer a Dominant and you think its ok to be rude to the wait staff or to anyone else that might piss you off..... "Bad Dom, no beating."
Sunday, July 03, 2005
***rolling of the eyes***
I hear I'm losing all my submissives.
Geezus people, you got nothing better to do than speculate about what submissives I have?
I had one that I don't see anymore because I think he's confused as to some things...or maybe I'm confused. I thought I had sort of sent him out in good faith to be trained in other ways. Either way, he's gone his own way and good luck to him.
Now, just because one has left doesn't mean they all have left. You didn't think I have just one do you? Pish posh.....I have them in 3 states. Mind you, I don't see the out of state ones as much as I like, but I do see them on occasion as their time permits. I have a number from Indy that I see and some from my home area, Ft. Wayne, Lafayette...etc.
One left, not the others. They will be very suprised to know that they have all left my service.
Don't talk about what you don't know about. Ask me. I'll tell you if you really want to know.
Geezus people, you got nothing better to do than speculate about what submissives I have?
I had one that I don't see anymore because I think he's confused as to some things...or maybe I'm confused. I thought I had sort of sent him out in good faith to be trained in other ways. Either way, he's gone his own way and good luck to him.
Now, just because one has left doesn't mean they all have left. You didn't think I have just one do you? Pish posh.....I have them in 3 states. Mind you, I don't see the out of state ones as much as I like, but I do see them on occasion as their time permits. I have a number from Indy that I see and some from my home area, Ft. Wayne, Lafayette...etc.
One left, not the others. They will be very suprised to know that they have all left my service.
Don't talk about what you don't know about. Ask me. I'll tell you if you really want to know.
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